Transformation

What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

  1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

  2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

  3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

  4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

  5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

  6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

 


The Clarity Classes & Tools

frank-mckenna-291331-unsplash.jpg

6 WEEKS TO CLARITY: CONSCIOUS CREATOR
ONLINE

Break Through Your Limits, Step Into Your Power and Follow Your Real Desires Successfully

almos-bechtold-448574_2.jpg

create a vision board & manifest your desires

This workshop walks you through step by step how to create a Vision Board and manifest your future desires.

dewang-gupta-138896-unsplash2.jpg

CONNECT WITH YOUR
FUTURE VISIONS
MEDITATION

Gain access to this free guided transformational meditation and start manifesting your desires.

 

Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

  2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

  3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

  4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

  • When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

  • You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

  • You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

  • Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

To have a healthy, loving relationship self-knowledge is key

Personally, it was the hardest thing for me to learn to say what I need in my relationship. In the beginning, I would rather have bitten my tongue than talk about anything difficult or to explain what I needed, which I often wasn't even able to recognize myself. This led to resentment and passive aggressiveness.

Over the years I have blamed him for not seeing or listening to me, that was before I turned inwards to see my own input. How I haven’t paid attention and opened up a real conversation about it. Instead letting my past hurts get triggered, hurts which had nothing to do with him. 

We all have our default beliefs based on our earlier experiences. I never learned, or was allowed, to express my needs or feelings safely. It's a common issue that many generations experience. 

As a child, I learned surface emotions were expressed by arguing, and the real ones were to be hidden in the silence. But time and avoidance doesn't heal problems. Unresolved arguments and unexpressed needs only build resentment.

It’s easy to play the victim and to silently blame others or the circumstances, while avoiding feeling our feelings and showing our real vulnerable selves. Together, me and my partner have learned to discuss fears and issues when they show up.

To stay in balance I constantly need to pay attention to give love to myself, so that I can then receive it from my partner. I need to hear that I’m loved often enough and sometimes I ask for it. Now that I’m pregnant I need that even more! I could be cuddled and hugged all the time like a baby. Touching releases the oxytocin hormone, which is needed for getting the body ready for the birth and of course, the growing baby needs it too. But so do adults. 

This is what I often hear people saying:

“Why do I have to be the good one and take responsibility for the communication and bring things up?”

“It’s about him or her and I have done nothing wrong, I’m doing my best.”

“I wish s/he would change and understand me better.”

“S/he will never change. S/he always…”

“Why is it me who always has to…”

Because someone has to make the change. Nothing will change if we don't change it. This kind of cycle needs to be stopped and the patterns must be broken - consciously.

Over time couples become so close that they can't see the “bad’ habits and patterns they have created together. Habits which are causing repetitive battles and issues. This piles up when old hurts and misunderstandings aren't resolved.

It's never really about the other person. In the end, it's about us and resonating what we need to learn from ourselves so that we can resolve the issues that will help us to heal and grow.

We get so used to each other, and therefore often take the relationship for granted and become less compassionate towards our partner. It’s easy to neglect each other, and stop seeing who our partners really are and what they might be going through. It’s easy to just assume, rather than ask them and see them clearly. Often we don't (want to) recognize how our own input is causing the issue. It's not fair to complain to friends, and not have a real talk with your chosen partner. 

Lack of communication and trust and an inability to be vulnerable are causing the emotional, and intimacy problems in many relationships.

Often your other half has no idea what's going on and what you might be thinking, and needing - you need to communicate it. There are so many misunderstandings in relationships, which sadly often lead to separation or divorce, just because of defensive egos and because people are not connected to their own hearts and feelings and have not solved the issues from their past. 

Too many people do not understand what they are projecting or why they feel how they feel.

However, if there is love and willingness, these issues can always be solved.  

Other people are often our mirrors: what you think and feel about others, they might think that about you. They often project and resonate with what we are afraid of and think the very same thing about us!

We communicate and sense without words often and therefore attract similar situations until we are ready to stop and learn. But only spoken words can create connection and understanding - when we choose to approach conversations with peace and compassion.

If you need a change and are not fully satisfied in your relationship, you need to step up; be open about your feelings and needs; and start the communication. 

It requires courage to be the one who stands up for their needs and asks for changes. It requires the courage to connect with the heart and speak for yourself. You want to do it for your happiness. 

The better you know yourself, the better your relationships will be and the more open you can be.

Taking responsibility for your own needs is a measure of your self-worth and appreciation. And beautifully shows you your limiting beliefs and what you might be avoiding. Maybe it’s about fear of commitment, lacking deeper emotional connection, trust issues, fear of having real happiness or facing the truth...

It never goes wrong and people never turn against us when we are able to show our real feelings and worries vulnerably. It releases the tension and shifts the energy.

It’s not weakness, it’s power. It then opens up the possibility of your other half opening up and taking responsibility for their feelings. It simply leads to a resolution and clarity. It strengthens the emotional connection - and adds more love, partnership, and trust. 

We simply need to be who we are and be able to share our deepest fears and feelings to our partners safely. 

So, what to say and how to change this?

Say what you don’t want to say - I know it’s easy to say that, but it’s the truth.

Do what you don’t want to do and face your fears confidently. You’ll be rewarded.

If your issue is that you are over-compassionate and understanding towards your partner, and you carry their emotions too, you are probably forgetting your own needs. You deserve to get what you want and need, and you are worthy of asking for that.  

It might feel in the beginning as though it’s not working. That’s only because as you change your behaviour and release your defensive barriers your partner is not used to it. It’s like they can’t believe that you are not coming from a resentful, defensive place but instead are approaching the situation with peace and calm. It will change, we always face resistance and challenges before things start flowing. You are doing this for you both, for your relationship and for your happiness future.

Coming from a loving place provides an opportunity for growth. As we need to grow constantly in life, so too do we need to grow and change in our relationships.

I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment below: How have you resolved your relationship communication issues? How did you learn to speak up? 

Love, Jenni 

BEFORE YOU GO…

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here.

The Glad Show with Ruby Mitchell on self-healing: How I overcame two incurable illnesses

On this episode of the Glad Show, Ruby Mitchell joins me to talk about talk self-healing. 

She is sharing her incredible personal journey how she was able to overcome C-PTSD (complex trauma disorder), brain cancer and a rare, incurable, disease that was repeatedly creating life-threatening tumors in her skull. 

When doctors couldn't help, and give up on her, Ruby was able to find her superpowers and confidence to keep looking until she met the people and methods that eventually helped her to find the root cause of the diseases, and then heal and recover fully.

Her story is an inspirational story about the trial and error, and how the healing path was revelead to her one step at the time when she didn’t give up -- even when she was expecting her second child and then had to make brave decisions based on her gut and intuition.

Ruby is a family trauma specialist, psychotherapist, and clinical hypnotherapist - and a real master of self-healing. She is a dedicated therapist empowering and supporting women on their healing journey and helps them to transform their mindset in order to transform their bodies and their lives.

Ruby and I discuss: 

  • How we have to take responsibility for our health and well-being as no one else can really do that for us but we have to insist healing

  • What was the root cause of her disease and what in the end worked for Ruby

  • Why we should never own our diseases and struggles

  • How we all the healing powers and how her husband (who is a soldier and not any kind of energy worker) helped her to heal

  • Amazing exercises that you can start practicing now:

    • How to reduce stress and let go of harmful negative feelings and energy from the body

    • Lift up energy quickly in the middle of the day

    • Connecting and supporting yourself and your inner child in a different way

This episode is a great watch for anyone who is interested in self-healing or struggles physical, mental, or emotional issues, and need hope and encouragement on their self-healing journey. Do not give up but get help and keep going, looking and trying out different kind of methods. Something will eventually work!

After you have watched the episode comment below and share your own healing story or ask any questions you might have!

You can contact Ruby on Facebook or by email at support@rubymitchell.com.au

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more

Boosting your courage is a key to clarity

Too many people shy away from using their real potential, going after their dreams, and passions just because they lack courage and don't believe in themselves enough.

A big part of my clients come to me with the confidence and self-esteem issues. They know that it's them who are somehow standing in their own way. 

They want to find what keeps them stuck and how to get courage and clarity they lack. 

They want to start their business, write their books, use their creative talents, have healthy relationships, find a new job - be independent financially and mentally.

In the end it's about feeling free to be who they truly are and do what they love!

If you are not doing what is important and meaningful to you, it’s pretty much impossible to live fulfilled, happy life. 

Quite often they believe there’s something wrong with them, which is not true. 

The lack of courage, self-doubt and self-criticism hold the invisible curtain in their mind, blocking the needed clarity and direction

It’s difficult to see things objectively and create a big picture and take action if the negative self-talk and learned beliefs have taken the control.

This is the source of frustrations, insecurities, and anxiety, that only makes you feel more stuck.  

Increasing courage and self-esteem is a key to healing this. 

How to do this?

Get clear of the language that you use when you talk to yourself and others (critical people are extremely harsh on themselves) and start re-wiring your mind by using affirmations and talking to yourself in encouraging, kind and gentle ways. Train your mind!  

I promise you will see a difference in you and the results you get in a short time! 

To help you make the changes faster, I wanted to share my transformational, courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and find that determination and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

 

Jenni xo

P.S. Courage and Confidence is part of the Conscious Creator Program and enrolment to this life-changing program is open now! 


Before you go…

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here.
 

Photo by Vladimir Kudinov http://www.vladimirkudinov.com/

If You Crave Change Read These Books


All these books are quite different but in the end, they're all about the life views, and beliefs, forcing us to question the habits of thinking and behaving. 


1. Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown.
The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone. About speaking your Truth and recognizing your own value. "The foundation of courage is vulnerability."

2. The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks.
For recognizing the upper limit problems (this is a fascinating concept) and knowing your zone of genius. 

3. Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin.
"The four tendencies" Understanding my tendency has been invaluable to me. "To shape our habits successfully we must know ourselves."

4. High-Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard.
These researched habits are pure gold. I rarely read business self-help books and don't really talk about high performance as it has sounded cold to me. But I changed my mind when I read this book. It is all about human performance.

5. Inward by Yung Pueblo.
There is so much wisdom here. His Instagram page is fantastic, full of spiritual poems. "I gathered my habits and started releasing the ones that can never lead me to lasting freedom and joy."  
6. Loving what is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life by Byron Katie. 
Find solutions to complicated situations, get clarity on relationships, and change the harmful beliefs and self-limiting stories. I have used the Work personally and with my clients for years. “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.”

You create your habits and your habits create your life. 

I hope you find this list useful!

 

If you want more and practical guidance, sign up to get access to my free guide: 
 

The 7 Habits and Daily Rituals to Feel Calm, Connected and Energized Every Day
 

If you know anyone who needs inspiring books about personal and spiritual growth, share this post.

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

How I dramatically changed my life with law of attraction (and met my soulmate)

Five years ago I had a big dream. 

My dream was to find a solid, truthfully loving, kind, and reliable partner. The one who would be my best friend, my partner in crime and as independent as I am but who would love togetherness as much as I do. 

I had been going through quite rough life experiences and painful relationships earlier that I felt timid to even dream about it. 

I seriously thought about sacrificing my life for humanitarian work, helping others, and living alone as a modern nun! 

At the age of 35, I was so broken that it sounded like a valid option for me. 

I had already jumped out from the corporate world and I was creating a purpose-driven business based on my values, intuition, desires and skills. I wanted nothing more than to find my true passions and do meaningful work. I was researching happiness, psychology, healing methods, and universal laws on how to lead and create life instead of drifting in life. 

I had realized that I was the one who had been standing my way, so I focused on healing my old emotional wounds holistically and re-connecting with myself again.

So I already took the responsibility of my experiences, my emotions and started releasing the old hurtful patterns that I had repeated for a long time. Not only in relationships but I had played small in all areas of life, being too afraid and too kind to start living on my own terms and be myself, as I had no idea how to even do it! 

I was literally living the Holstee Manifesto true, which I still have on my wall. 

My awareness grew rapidly, and I also started feeling more love. My love an appreciation towards everything grew exponentially, when I started to feel free and more of myself again.  

So much more that I started believing again that there would be someone, somewhere in the world, who was meant for me.

I set the stakes as high as all my new dreams - I determined that I’d rather live alone the rest of my life if I wouldn’t meet The One. 

Nevertheless, I didn’t run out to speed dates or started hunting anyone down, it didn't feel right. But I allowed myself to "meet someone anywhere anytime" like everyone were saying to me. I trusted the unknown, set intentions and I felt my visions daily. 

As I had already made some shifts before, and got the confirmation that it is be possible to create the bid leaps - make our desires true, rapidly. I had been able to create and attract good things into my life - my career, my amazing apartment, the way I got out from the business world, the finances, the yoga teacher training in Nicaragua (which was the first training on my new transformational journey) - and it had all been there, on my vision board, and I had used the power of my mind and intentions to manifest it. 

I had started believing, through my street-science research, that it is possible to lead our lives by shifting our energy, mindset, thoughts and focus - and create our reality from inside out. 

  • All that requires letting go of the struggling, pushing, and over-controlling. 
  • Also letting go of the how’s, how it all would happen, and focusing on creating the heart-based intentions. 

It was almost overwhelming to realize how powerful beings we really are, when we use our free will and make conscious choices and bring our hearts to it!

Things started to flow easily and effortlessly. Soon I was bursting love and also felt so lonely sometimes, but I kept feeling and believing in my visions. I knew I was ready to meet someone, I just didn’t know how and what should do I do about it.  

I wouldn’t have met my husband without the help of invisible forces, the guidance that I got from the unknown psychic astrologist. One night I saw her ad online and ordered a free reading just for fun.

It changed my life.  

Next day I got an email from her and she was guiding me what I needed to do in order to meet my soulmate. She was urging me to not to miss the opportunities that would be available for me shortly in two months.

Do more self-work, release your old beliefs about relationships, she said. And spent more time online, your first encounter will happen on a huge online service. She also said I’d win a large amount of money. 

There was doubt, for sure, as I couldn’t believe it would be possible to have something so good happening to me. But she seemed to know a lot of details about me without knowing anything about me. As I had nothing to lose, I decided to play, have fun, and get myself vulnerably out there.

I had not signed up for any large online dating sites as that didn't feel right either. My ex-boss had started an online dating startup, and she had created an account for me, but there were not that many people. So I didn’t do much more than detoxing my mind and spent more time online. That’s what I did anyway, so I forgot the whole thing! 

And so it happened. All my efforts were rewarded.

Four years ago, two months after I got that reading, we met online in between those specifics dates she wrote about. Exactly like she described; first online on that dating site, then in Facebook and then soon on a blind date. We lived only a few blocks away from each other. 

Our relationship developed smoothly and quickly, and he turned out to be exactly who I had been  looking for. 

Last weekend we celebrated our third wedding anniversary.

  • I have learned that communication, listening, and appreciation create the foundation for the relationship - starting from yourself. 
  • We can’t either ignore the mirror effect, that repeats in every human relationships: You get what you give and can learn a lot about yourself from what you see.
  • When you change yourself, others will change around you (I have witnessed this multiple times during my marriage). 

Dreamy, cheesy love-story but all true.

Since then I have created many more leaps - moving to New York almost three years ago was one of them.

It's called a leap when the desire happens fast, and pretty effortlessly and it's based on clear, heart-based intention. It's not a magic skill, it's simply about the energy and physics, the law of attraction.

We manifest everything, not only good things. It's much more fun to do it intentionally and enjoy the good results - this is what I call Self-Mastery - the way I live and many, many successful people live too. 

Learn all about this in practice, how to connect with your real passions and to start using these tools and visualization part of your life in my new online program: The Clarity - Journey to Self-Mastery.

Much love,
Jenni

The Glad Show with Meg Berry on Self-love, Tantra and the Alchemy of Innocence

Meg Berry is a wellness professional, alt country singer-songwriter, and mother of three, Meg Berry, a.k.a. Tantra Cowgirl, is the owner of Artful Body studio in New Jersey and teaches classical Pilates, Tantra Core, MomCore and Tantra courses in person and online. She is the creator of Tantra Core, which combines the Tantric philosophy of wellness with the Pilates philosophy of fitness through movement and breathwork.

After healing her lifelong PTSD and body dysmorphia with Tantra, Meg was lit up with the desire to make Tantra and its effective healing accessible to everyone. She has the desire to make it accessible and effective to everyone seeking health and vitality - and Meg combines the Tantric philosophy of wellness through movement and breathwork.

On this episode we talk about:

  • Meg's story on how she was able to heal herself

  • What Tantra is really about

  • When you learn to breathe you ignite the healing and wellbeing

  • If you can feel it you can heal it

  • Beautiful Bliss Breathe meditation; meditation of senses (video below)

We had some issues with the Internet while recording this episode on Facebook Live, so we shoot the meditation on a separate video. Which actually works much better!

Watch the full interview here

The Alchemy of Innocence meditation:

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you.

If you know anyone who would love this episode, please share online and with your friends! 

Love, 
Jenni

P.S. What topics or who would you like to see on The Glad Show? Comment below!

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni

Are you repeating your parents' mistakes?

At the airport recently I was going to the gate alongside parents traveling with their two young boys. The elder boy was walking together with his parents, but the younger was peevish, staying behind and slowing everyone down.

He didn't want to go through security and therefore walked as slowly as possible to get his parents' attention.

Suddenly this five-year-old, who followed the rest of the family hugging his teddy bear, started crying out:

"You don't like me. Nobody likes me. You like Sam more than me."

Hearing him say this, sudden tears of compassion came to my eyes.

I understood so well how he felt.

The scene could have been lifted directly from my childhood, even the words he used were the same.

My cousin still teases me about the time when we visited her family. I woke everyone up during the night as I was crying out loud my 'nobody loves me' cry. No matter how much my mom comforted me, I had already formed a belief that I was not lovable at the age of four.

It was not my fault, nor was it my parents' fault. They didn’t know how to experience their feelings or how to teach me to experience mine. In the late 70’s and 80's, when I grew up, people were often not as emotionally or spiritually aware as we are today.

Also, there’s cultural patterns. I come from Finland and Finns are known as silent people who do not easily express any kind of emotion. Emotions were simply not talked about or expressed that much when I was a child.

They did their best, like most parents do.

There’s a reason why I’ve had to heal myself emotionally in this lifetime.

Sometimes, it only requires one sentence or one look, for the child to create a trauma; a harmful self-belief which can affect them for decades if it’s not released and changed.

In my case, I never really learned how to feel and deal with my emotions, fears, and feelings as a child.

I felt abandoned because I didn’t get the emotional response I needed from my parents.

As a little girl, I learned subconsciously that I needed to earn love.

I learned if I do a lot; become better; improve myself; and aim for perfection all the time, then I get approval. Then I am enough and I earn a reason to receive the love and approval I so craved. No one required me to do that. I did a lot of sports; was good at school; and had a full schedule when I was little. I thrived as a child, but as long as I can remember, I felt lonely.

Everyone thought I was ambitious and that’s why I was so hard on myself. They thought that was why I was so hard working and needed to constantly achieve something, to feel fulfilled. I never felt I’m “there” - nothing was enough.

Working hard, pleasing people and striving for perfection didn’t work out.

It didn’t wipe away the feelings of loneliness and fear of abandonment; or the fear that I don’t belong anywhere.

I repeated these cycles for decades, until I stepped on the path of self-love and approval and learned deep down the root cause of these feelings.

As an adult, my emotional wound - I’m not lovable as I am and love needs to be earned - made me work and push myself too much. It was so exhausting, I created unstable, abusive relationships, and I couldn’t really trust anyone enough; I still thought they would hurt or abandon me. All this made me create physical issues and self-sabotaging habits - it all comes from a confused mind and misleading beliefs.

Things have changed for me since and fortunately there’s a way for everyone to change these beliefs.

Emotional abandonment is one of the deepest wounds; and difficult to overcome.

We all have emotional wounds and so many of us believe we are not good enough to have and get what we really deserve and want - often very simple things.

We can repeat our family patterns from generation to generation until we put a stop to it. Any kind of suffering doesn't really run in a family - nor do most diseases.

It's not easy to change habits or behavior if you don't know what’s causing them or how to solve your issues at the root. But this self discovery is the only way to stop passing issues on to your kids; or repeating patterns in your own life.

That is your responsibility as a parent and you owe it to yourself too (same goes with relationships). If you repeatedly do something that you don't understand and don't like about yourself (maybe something your parents did to you) - there is a way to change it.

When working with clients, and on my own healing journey, I have found ways to heal and get over these painful patterns.

The tools I have found work best to help change habits are transformational hypnotherapy; energy healing work; and coaching.

Much love,

Jenni

10 tips for better sleep (and health and wellness)

We all know how important sleep is for our well-being. Lack of sleep affects the mind, happiness, and weight and can cause all kind of side-symptoms.

People who suffer from insomnia are ready to do anything to get some sleep, I know that from my own experience. Years ago I suffered from insomnia and I know all about the horrors it can cause. In the end, when I took the responsibility of it, I used all these methods to create new evening routines and balance my distracted mind and create a new mindset about sleeping.

10 tips for better sleep

  1. Create healthy evening routines. Adults need routines as well. What are your evening routines? Is it serving your sleeping? Modify your routines, if needed and follow them even while you are traveling and on the weekends. Reserve enough time for your sleeping routines in the evenings.
  2. An hour before bedtime: no social media, internet, games - switch off all the gadgets. No work related reading either but something empowering and positive. TV doesn't belong in the bedroom: it makes your sleep worse and keeps your brain up and running all night. It doesn't remove the stressful thoughts but just distracts your mind other ways. What to do instead? Journal, read, just relax, draw, stretch, meditate or be present and have a conversation with your family.
  3. Set your alarm early in the evening. So that you don't need to think about it just before bedtime.
  4. Write your worry list & work through your thoughts about the day before getting into bed. Don't try to go to bed with stressful thoughts. Write down all the things and thoughts running in your mind - I mean everything including the negative feelings. It helps you to release anxiety that often sneaks in in the middle of the night and then keeps you awake. Remember, what you can't change or affect is not useful worry about. Don't carry the baggage you can't release.
  5. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet and cool. Dark blue is a great, calming color.
  6. Cut off caffeine already on the afternoon (tea, coffee, soda) - it affects to your body. Switch to decaf coffee and tea.
  7. Cut off alcohol: many believe that nightcap or couple of glasses of wine can make it feel easier to fall asleep, but you are more likely to wake up frequently.  And you slowly create a need/addiction with alcohol. If you are ready to explore cut off alcohol for a couple of weeks and you will feel calmer, sleep better and feel more energized.
  8. Take deep breathes (meditate). Close your eyes and breathe. Or put your legs up on the wall and just breathe for 5 to 10 minutes. Very calming and tranquilizing, slowing down your system and stress levels.
  9. Avoid heavy exercise or heavy meals late in the evening.  
  10. If you wake-up in the middle of the night, don't panic - it's fine. Get up, do something calming, reading or meditation and when you feel tired again, go back to bed.

These tips can help to calm down in the evening and release the stress and tension that often disturbs the mind and prevent sleeping. If you suffer from long-term insomnia or if you feel fearful about sleep already in the evening or need to use sleeping aid often or every night, it is good to take it seriously and work things out to avoid more serious issues and exhaustion.

You can learn to sleep again and find new ways to calm yourself down and sleep well again. There are different ways to ease the distracted mind and release insomnia - hypnotherapy is a fast and effective natural therapy method that can help you to learn to sleep again: Read my more here.

If you want to know more could it help for you contact me here.

What are your evening routines, what do you do in the evenings to make sure you sleep well? 

Sweet dreams!

Much love, Jenn

Hypnotherapy cured my insomnia and I learned to sleep again

untitled-design1.png

I was ASKED JENNI TO HELP ME with THE sleeping problems and insomnia that I had been suffering on and off for over ten years.

I felt desperate as the problem was getting worse no matter I had nothing unusual or stressful going on in my life.

The only help appeared to be getting stronger medicines, and I didn't want that: I just wanted to rest naturally and sleep soundly, as I had done before.

My two-hour hypnotherapy session with Jenni was a deep-dive to my mind and past revealing the personal reasons behind insomnia. After the session, I slept throughout the night.  Only one session and the personalized audio she made for me helped me almost magically to sleep again. I was able to change my thinking and release the old beliefs that caused insomnia. I now know that I can affect to my sleeping.

I now sleep most of the nights soundly until the morning. If I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night, I know it is only natural and I'm not getting anxious anymore, but I feel relaxed about it. I am forever grateful for Jenni who helped me to let go of this nightmare and learn how to sleep again.

If you suffer from sleeping problems or a lot of stress and busyness hypnotherapy is a great and fast way to find a solution and release for your issue. The cause of the issues are always personal and hypnotherapy sessions are always personalized for your needs, so sometimes more than one session is needed. Get more information and book your session by email: info@jenniglad.com.  

[read more: work with me]

[more on the blog: 10 tips for better sleep]

How to use visualization and the power of mind

I had a beautiful brunch with my friends yesterday. We were celebrating my upcoming 40th birthday. I feel that I'm stepping in real adult- and womanhood, but at the same time, I feel ageless and good about getting old. Age is just a number and our attitude has a lot to do with how old we feel, and I never want to forget to play, be curious, have fun and try new things out - so what would really change?

Life is not a number, and I will never forget to play, be curious, have fun and try new things out - so what would really change?

Then, my friends were asking me about my visions for the year - what next?

Of course, my friends know that I live what I teach: use vision boards, reminders and different kind of techniques (habits) daily to keep myself happy and aware of where I am going in life - day by day (watch the last week's video of planning and procrastination).

I start my mornings quietly on my yoga mat. I try not to touch my mobile phone before anything else than a cup of coffee. I have all notifications off on my phone, so I don't get distracted (strongly recommended to everyone! Social media, emails and your phone just sucks you into distraction and overwhelm in a second).

My morning habits are part of my life that I don't even think about it anymore and don't want to live without - those moments in the morning time are my time. It sounds organized, but it's not like that at all: I flow with my morning schedules.

I do meditation, journaling, planning, and visualization - which is the IT tool that I talk about in my video below. It's The Secret all those books are all about.

On this video I'm talking about how to use visualization for short-time and long-term desires.

 

Visualization is simply about creating mental images for the future. It's about using your mind and imagination consciously, which you are doing every day and moment - unconsciously, the mind is fast - and that is how the brain works. It not about pushing through with a great determination towards the goals and forgetting what happens outside that track.

Visualization is a powerful tool helping us keep moving forward, and make things easier, daily life happier and you will become more trustful when you set your visions, define your goals and then - let go and get to that daily planning and life. Go!

To get back to my friends' question - I didn't know what to answer to my friends!

It’s a delicate and sacred thing when to share your dreams and visions publicly. I could have said I want to publish my book (I really do) and all those other things, just to say something. But I couldn't, as I haven't taken the next necessary steps yet. I did a new vision board recently, and now I concentrate on embracing today and feeling grateful of all what I have (the second part of THE secret) and there are many new things that need my focus and energy now - like my birthday celebrations! I have set my visions and I know it will happen - when the time is right.

Have you ever done a vision board? Let me know your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. And if you take my challenge from the video, I definitely want to hear how it goes.

With love, Jenni

Hypnosis helped me to get rid of my sugar addiction

I asked Jenni to help me do a real and long-lasting life change toward a healthier, balanced lifestyle - and especially to get rid of my sugar addiction and food binging.

Sugar addiction made me tired and unmotivated, and my brain was foggy. My blood sugar went up and down, and so did my mood! I was often angry or irritated without knowing the reason, and it made me feel horrible. Strict diets and health programs were working only for a short while, but soon after, I was back to my old habits. I didn't have the willpower to change my habits permanently, and it was a painful struggle! I was disappointed in myself, and there was a lot of self-blame.

After the first session with Jenni, I felt how my brain started dealing with new information, i.e., organizing itself for a new way of thinking and changing behavior. I wanted to listen to my personalized audio every night, and I started feeling more balanced day by day!

In just three weeks time, significant (unbelievable!) changes started to happen; my attitude changed and I felt more compassion and acceptance. My approach toward food changed too in the fact that now, I want to eat clean and healthy food.

13490722_10153725105181547_8427002104955300172_o

I started enjoying meals with all my senses, and I am excited about cooking healthy meals for the family! I do not need to gorge myself anymore. I feel my metabolism has started to run properly; I can visualize the fat cells shrinking, and my weight is steadily decreasing every week.

Chocolate and candy have crossed my mind, but I do not have a compelling need to eat them; they do not interest me anymore. Once I had some candy at the movies, and I was not able to eat it as it tasted way too sweet!

A huge healing process started from inside out. In such a short time I was able to release the old issues that were inducing my self-sabotaging behavior; I understood and very gently accepted why I had to be that way. The past is not affecting me anymore.

I had my second video call after three weeks. Then, we worked with my mindset and boosted my confidence - it was really empowering! The third session was to complete our work together and make a plan how I will keep myself on the right track.

I enjoy myself and my life so much more now, and I see my changes also positively affect the people around me, my family, and the atmosphere in my home. My skin is glowing, and I am full of joy and energy.

Jenni is a gracious and trustworthy therapist and coach who warmly but firmly leads and helps her clients to gently see and let go of issues that can be painful and difficult to face. Transforming my habits was essential for me and affected all areas in my life. I can't thank you enough.

Karoliina, Helsinki

How to beat procrastination and get things done with ease

How to beat procrastination and get things done with ease

Do you often hear yourself saying: I have to…, I should…, I must… or I need to... And then you just don't do it - do you struggle with procrastination?

Happiness equals success - video blog

Believe me, there was a time (actually a few decades) when I didn't really like Mondays (or sundays). 

I ruined the half of my weekend thinking about Monday and I felt stressed out about the coming work week.

I often worked on Sunday evenings to make the next week easier. There were always so much to do and I felt like I never got anything finished as there were always something new coming up. Yes, there is a reason why it is called rat race. I kept doing what I thought I should do instead of thinking what I wanted and desired. I chased some kind of gold shiny objects and believed, it would eventually make me happy.

Now when I've been out of the corporate world for five years it's clear why I felt so miserable and anxious then.

I missed the crucial feelings of fulfillment. Stress and busyness had numbed me. My work didn't feel meaningful and work is a crucial part of our lives, as we all know. We need to do what we like.

We need to do what we like.

For a very long time, I believed success create happiness. 

It's a common belief that makes many people miserable. We have learned that we should be rewarded for the hard work and often people sacrifice their own happiness/health/wellness for doing the things they don't even like, but believing happiness is the reward of the hard work and sacrifices.

The big secret is: happiness is a key to success. 

By changing this belief I got clarity and was able to make the exit plan from the business world and started creating the life I truly wanted.

Watch the video and learn what you can do to improve your happiness today:

 

We create change by cultivating the art of presence, making conscious choices, shifting our mindset and making steady, constant improvements towards our goals - that is how you can create a happy life.

I have created a Mindful Living method based on my life-changing tools: seven practical tools for mindful living. Click to get access to this FREE 7-series video course

How has it been for you - let me know in the comments below. What does success mean to you? Have you found the balance between success and happiness? How did you make the change?

There is no right answer to these things and I am eager to hear your experience in the comments below :)

Much love, Jenni

My review of 2016 with 12 life lessons

Like every year, I did my annual review of 2016 this week. When I read my notes and journals, it feels that I was being tested, dancing all year on my tippy toes, falling and getting up more than 12 times as there was some kind of drama involved in every month.  

The 12 life lessons from 2016:

1) Leave proper goodbyes for the past regularly (no need to stick with the new year cycle) and make clear decisions and choose what you want, dare to ask for more but focus only a few things at the time.

2) Our greatest achievements are born when we are following our inner leads and passion. Not the others, the rules or the books. Learn the lessons and do it in your own way.

3) Following our passions and dreams can be easy. We don’t need to make it so damn hard. 

4) Burn the boats. Make things happen but plan B's put your plans on hold and prevent the progress if you are focusing on “what ifs.” When you set your desires, make sure you believe in them and in yourself. Make changes along the way.

5) The only way to get over the fear of failure and perfectionism is to do it anyway. See the fear, feel the fear and then - just do it. You will take a big leap towards your visions.

6) Learn from your fears. Don’t stand in the way of your own success. Find the root cause and do the work to release the old beliefs and patterns. It’s the only way to making the real, long-lasting change and preventing you repeating the same old.

7) It is an illusion to believe everything is under control. You can’t live for the future, live in the now and make better choices.

8) Relationships can be defined by the quality of communication. It’s not about them, it’s about you.

9) When you take responsibility for your thoughts, words, behavior - you will take responsibility for your life (and may lead it).

10) If something or someone doesn’t feel good, walk away (nicely). Trust your guts and save everyone’s time and energy.

11) Don’t try harder, try different. No matter you feel like you have failed, change things and move forward. 

12) Learn to relax and feel more - take the time to meditate, think and connect with yourself. It's not a luxury, it's the way to feel more happiness.

Happy, Bold 2017 - it's time to make those visions true! I  have no doubt, it will be exceptional, like never before.

Love, Jenni