Inspiration

My journey to emotional freedom

Like most parents, I want my daughter to have a wonderful, happy childhood and to be the best mama I can be for her. 

In my last blog I shared how becoming a mother drove me to the next level of spiritual growth and awareness.

I’ve recently discovered cultural and ancestral patterns that have been running in my family for generations. That means I’ve worked with old wounds that crawled up from my subconscious along with motherhood. Yes, I'm diving into the depths of self-healing.

I’m highly motivated to do this work because I don’t want to pass my old stories and limiting beliefs on to my daughter. I want better for her, and when I do the work everyone, both me and my family, will benefit from it greatly. 

Already before her birth, I knew what I want to teach my child about life.

  • I want her to learn she’s good enough and capable of achieving whatever she decides to do in her life.

  • I want her to know it’s okay to make mistakes; challenges can be overcome and embraced as important milestones of growth.

  • I want her to learn how to feel her feelings so she can be her authentic self and express herself easily.

It’s important for me to show her that these skills are the greatest drivers of creating a happy and meaningful life.

It’s all what I didn’t learn until later in my adulthood when I started my own journey of growth and consciously creating the life I want to live.

I am also (almost painfully) aware my daughter will have her own life lessons she needs to learn and I cannot protect her or smooth the way for her completely, no matter how much I may want to.

But I can do my share and consciously change the conditioning that is not serving her or me.

As I have chosen to do this work, I get to learn and release these patterns in everyday life.

My first Mother’s Day was quite an emotional one.

There were expanded feelings of happiness and joy when I got to spend the day with my little family, who pampered me so sweetly.  

There were also sudden feelings of self-doubt and anxiety, that I had not been able to recognize before. 

Instead of ignoring these intense feelings, I stopped to bring awareness to them and to find out what kind of stories lie behind these feelings.

I worried whether I can ever be a good enough mama to her as I feel flawed, vulnerable, and imperfect. 

These uncomfortable feelings revealed a huge insight for me:

I realized that if I don’t let my daughter see me as I am — and able to receive her love fully — I would be abandoning her emotionally and rejecting her love.

Then I as a parent would repeat exactly what I was unconsciously taught in my childhood: love needs to be earned and if I just give, give, give and be a perfect, good girl, then I’d be lovable.

It was a huge breakthrough for me to finally find the root cause for the fear of abandonment and the lack of sense of belonging. Both these have caused me all kinds of struggle, disease, relationship issues and fears. 

It took a while for me to understand how I had not been able to, and how difficult it was for me to fully receive love.

After realizing all this and changing my limiting beliefs, stories and patterns — and the energies related to them — I soon felt lighter and confidently rooted within my own being.

Now when I bond with my little girl I feel at ease. Looking at her loving eyes doesn’t make me hesitate any more. I started feeling deeper connection not only with her but with my husband, my parents and family - and especially with myself.

Self-acceptance and the ability to receive love are the foundations of deep and intimate relationships with ourselves and others.

By being our authentic selves and showing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, our kids, and we as adults can learn to accept ourselves and understand we are good enough and lovable as we are. It’s never too late to start making these changes. 

When we choose to take responsibility and do the inner work it shifts our energy, helps to heal relationships and allows us to become free to do and be our authentic selves.

And that’s powerful and something many people are craving for, because when these old stories and conditioning are changed, you can change your habits; get healthy; release physical conditioning, limiting fears and blockages that prevent you from creating a happy, fulfilling life that looks and feels like you.

When we face any kind of difficulties with others one of the greatest questions we can ask ourselves is:

How am I creating this? 

I know it's not easy to take responsibility when it feels like everyone else is creating the issues or like life is resisting your aims. It takes some courage to ask this question of yourself and be willing to recognize and face the truth behind it.

But if you dare to take the path to growth and listen carefully, you will get insightful answers and your own wisdom and guidance will help move you forward. 

Changing ourselves is the only way to affect and change others. I’ve seen this happening in my own life and my clients' lives over and over again. 

Your happiness and wellbeing depends on you. You are not your limited by how or where you grew up or what others do.

Your life is your creation and in the same way you have created it so far, you can make changes and redesign it consciously. You only need to make the choice and get started.

Much love, Jenni

P.S. If you like this blog, head HERE to order my newsletter it was originally shared with my readers. When you subscribe you will get free resources, inspiration, guidance and much more.

RELATED BLOG: Are you repeating your parent's mistakes or your old family patterns?

Reflect on your year before setting New Year resolutions

The Holidays will soon be over here... I know you must be busy finishing up everything so you can relax for a couple of days before welcoming the New Year and setting your resolutions and visions.

I hope your year has been as successful and full of joy as you intended it to be. And I hope you are feeling proud of yourself (this was one of my “feeling” intentions for 2018) and those conscious accomplishments you made real this year.

Even if you feel that this year really sucked and you would just rather move forward without thinking about any of the mistakes or failures (that we all have had), hiding your head in the sand doesn’t help.

In fact, it does the opposite and only makes you carry those issues forward and replay them over and over again.

Nothing new can be built on regrets or resentment. You need to take the lessons and clean your mental and emotional closets to create space for the new.

So before you rush yourself to the new year… take some the time yet to stop and reflect on 2018.

Closing the book of life yearly is mentally, spiritually and emotionally as important as finalizing your bookkeeping and doing your taxes. Yes, we need to face the ugly truth and that’s helping you to let go of it. 

Making these end of year reflections is needed for reasons:

  • You will clearly see how you have actually done and what you have accomplished (self-empowerment & praise!).

  • You become free from self-blame and resentment (forgiveness).

  • You know what is working or not working for you (wisdom).

  • You can learn from your obstacles (growth).

After you have done this exercise, you can let yourself off the hook - the table is clean and you have clarity and your head is full of wonderful insights. You’ll feel free to plan your life forward.

Here’s how to reflect on your past year:

  1. Make a nice cup of something and get a piece of paper or your journal.

  2. If you have one, get out your list of desires and goals or your calendar of the year.

  3. Start from January and go through your life month by month and list all the accomplishments and good things that happened during your year.

    • Think of the reasons why it worked out so wonderfully for you.

    • Don’t hold yourself back from paying attention to “small” things - they are just as important.  

  4. Next make a list of things that didn’t work out: goals you didn’t achieve, mistakes or failures that happened.

    • Ask yourself what could you have done differently?

    • Write down the reasons why you think it didn’t work out. This is not to blame yourself, others or the circumstances. Reflect objectively.

    • What can you learn from it?

  5. Go through your reflections to see what’s working for you, what makes you happy and what you want to continue doing next year - but also what do you need to let go of and clear from your plate.

It’s really empowering to clean the clutter and boldly remove some of the old things hanging on our to do lists that will never ever happen.

By doing this kind of exercise yearly you will stop repeating the same cycles and can change things confidently.

But also, we are often so hard on ourselves and too busy to praise ourselves enough... so celebrate your accomplishments!  

Then it’s time to set those powerful intentions, goals and desires for the next year.

If it’s not part of your yearly routine yet I highly recommend making a list of intentions and desires for 2019. It’s a simple list of everything you want to have, be and create during the next year and this - the power of intention - is proven to work really well.

This is my personal way to start the New Year and it’s amazing to go back to those old desires at the end of year and witness how amazingly things have flowed forward, how much I have done and achieved - and simply seeing clearly what do I need to let go.

If you have a question or another practice or exercise you like to use, please share in the comments below.

Much love and Happy Holidays,

Jenni


What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

  1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

  2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

  3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

  4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

  5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

  6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

 


The Clarity Classes & Tools

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Break Through Your Limits, Step Into Your Power and Follow Your Real Desires Successfully

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create a vision board & manifest your desires

This workshop walks you through step by step how to create a Vision Board and manifest your future desires.

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CONNECT WITH YOUR
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Gain access to this free guided transformational meditation and start manifesting your desires.

 

What my burnout taught me

Last week, after DJ Avicii died, I watched the Netflix documentary about his last couple of years before he left the touring.  

It was sad to watch how he drove himself to exhaustion and how the look in his eyes changed from excitement to disconnection - like he was not there anymore. 

He couldn’t slow down to rest and heal, not even in the hospital where he sat on his bed working with his laptop all the time, bottles of coca-cola next two his bed and room filled with people, while he was talking with the team of doctors about serious health issues.

He tried to get some help and seemed to desperately get help while continuing touring and working 24/7 and only got deeper into the self-sabotaging cycle while his body was screaming all the warning signs.  

Alcohol, success, work, drugs, are great addictives taking the edge off the emotional and physical pain, numbing and blocking the way to understanding and allowing the healing to start.

Social media was blaming his manager who certainly focused only on making him more and more successful with any cost. But also Avicii himself, something inside him, drove and pushed him to achieve more and work harder. He couldn’t take any credits for his success and work.

He didn’t know what he really wanted to achieve and what would make him feel fulfilled. Nothing was enough, he was not enough.

Curse of publicity and overnight success? 

No, this is everyday life. 

Too many people struggle with the same disease and are driven by subconscious, unrecognized self-beliefs leading to extreme stress and exhaustion when they try to achieve and fulfill the never-ending external demands and requirements. 

His story touched me deeply because it brought up the vivid feelings about my own burnout.

I remember sitting on the beach and begging help from the universe, or anyone, so that I could feel calm, connected, and peaceful again. I couldn’t hear anything behind the cacophony in my mind.

Then the day came that I had been afraid of: After a one-day work trip to Paris, I dropped on the couch and couldn't get up. 

I had been scared, feeling so lonely, anxious, and panicky and I couldn’t sleep well anymore. I knew that I was dancing on the tightrope but this deep, dark fear had kept me going and escaping my reality and myself.

I had numbed myself with work, busyness, partying, alcohol, and smoking, and living the life that felt like somebody else’s life - it all felt meaningless. I felt so restless that I couldn't calm down to watch a movie, read, or be alone. 

On that day I understood I could either keep destroying myself - for nothing really - or take it seriously, get help, and help myself. 

It’s a dangerous - life-threatening - combination to feel extremely unworthy and believe that working more and harder and being better is the way to fulfillment, success, love, and acceptance.

When these inner drivers and false self-beliefs are on, there is no stop sign and we lose the control, and connection first with the feelings and then with the self - the most precious assets that we have.  

The first thing I did then was that I simplified my life and started changing my habits. I set clear boundaries and stopped putting everyone and everything else ahead my own needs and real desires. 

Sometimes it meant lying on the floor listening to jazz or sitting in complete silence starting out of window, which at first was scary and strange but as it felt right I did it.

I felt fragile and broken for quite a while, but I was able to save myself. It opened me up to a new level of sensitivity, which also meant I was not able to work as much as I did before - not a bad thing in the end! 

It was then when I found Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now opened my eyes to see things from a totally new perspective - it was a delicate but so powerful paradigm shift, and gave me the answers that I had been looking for a long time. The Art of Living in the Present Moment became the core of my life and a few years later my work.  

It was a blessing, like our challenges often are if we just learn to see them that way. I started the ten-year journey to spiritual and personal growth and healing. My drivers are now completely different and I'm on my mission to help everyone to become aware and understand that we all have the power, and a key to healing, happiness, and real success and well-being.

If you have have symptoms of burnout or if you are constantly exhausted, resentful and cynical about your future and your daily life - or if you are constantly sick or in pain - get help. It's not the way life should be and you can change it for better.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

Alyson Noël: Don't believe what people say to you

Alyson Noël is the #1 New York Times bestselling, award-winning, author of 26 novels. With 9 New York Times bestsellers and over 8 million copies in print, her books have been translated into 36 languages and sold in over 200 countries. 

You may have read her novel series The Immortals, Riley Bloom, Soul Seekers or Beautiful Idols. Her Young Adult novel, Saving Zoë, is soon to be a major motion picture starring Vanessa Marano, and Laura Marano, with Jeffrey G. Hunt directing. 

I met Alyson three years ago in Bali where I started writing my first book. We sat down to discuss how she created an impressive, successful career by following her passions and building amazing success as an author.

In this episode Alyson shares:

  • How she became a full-time writer after working for multiple other jobs for a long time

  • How she, after working with her first book for 15 years, got it published

  • Her daily habits and pragmatic approach and guidance for aspiring writers

  • When is the right time to go after your dreams

  • Why failing and being rejected is important for your growth and success

  • What "you only need one yes" means

  • Why you need to take responsibility of your stories, gifts, and skills and make the effort to get them out to the world without believing what people say to you

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 

 

Once you have watched or listened to the show, we would love to hear from you.

What is your big dream? Do you have the story or an idea in your mind that doesn't leave you alone?

If you have something you want to put out into the world, share your idea in the comments below. Let us know how does your first baby step look like and when are you going to take it?

I guarantee magic happens, when you put the intention out there.

Like Duke Ellington said: "I don't need time, all I need is deadline."

Also, if you know anyone who would love this episode, please share with your friends! 

Love, 
Jenni 

P.S. Here's two book wonderful book recommendations about creativity: Story by Robert Mckee and The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - Enjoy!

What I learned on the saddest day of my life

Overwhelm, anxiety, and feeling drained is, unfortunately, a new norm. I hear that every day from my clients.

And I can relate.

In this vlog I'm talking about the realization that helped me to change the course of my life and gave me the power to take it towards what I really desired and was passionate about: to find my purpose and authentic happiness.   

I'm also talking about why it's crucial to connect with ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally, and how to release the old blockages that keep you stuck in your situation.

You'll get guidance of how to start creating intentional life and why intentions really make a difference for your future.

There is a way out of the constant struggling and set yourself free. 

Watch the video or listen to the audio below.

If you like this vlog share with your friends! 

Boost your confidence and self-esteem and download my ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio here.

 

 

Thank you for watching! 

Love,
Jenni

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni

6 steps to break a worry habit

A while ago I noticed an unhealthy pattern had sneaked in my life. It was a reminisce of my years in the corporate world, but I hadn't felt it for years, and the old familiar feelings rang my health and wellness alarms.

I don't play with health or happiness anymore, so I looked into my habits (of thinking and behaving) to understand what was causing it and to know how to make changes:

I had a productive phase going on and I was producing a lot of new content. Long to-do list made me minimize the meditation and writing time in the mornings. I worked late and then stayed up late spending "my time" in Instagram and reading work-related books and articles late in the bed.

It was hard to get up in the mornings as I was awake at some point during the nights. I felt tired in the middle of the day. To keep myself going, I had started drinking coffee on the afternoon. I felt tired and wired at the same time.   

I was overdriving myself so that at the end of the week my brain was foggy and my body was over-heated, meaning I felt the blood pressure and cortisol levels were high.

I told myself it's temporary (and at the same time I was afraid it was not) and then I stopped: I don't want to do it this way, no matter what it is - I have a choice.

When I saw all these things and it was clear: I was suffering adrenaline fatigue. I lacked downtime and boundaries. 

In yoga, there is a rule that after an inversion pose it's good to rest the same amount of the time that you have been upside down. 

The same rule works in life: during the busier times, it's important to recharge the batteries - physically and mentally - all the time.

Creativity and productivity - both - require space and time. It's tough to create new ideas and be focused when your mind is full. 

What I did to fix it: 

The moment when I realized what was going on, I wanted to take responsibility for it.

I did the clarity exercise below and reduced all the unnecessary worries - there were not that much left after it - I felt at ease. 

Also, I booked time for acupuncture, scheduled a sweaty yoga class, took a herbal path and did nothing but relaxing for a couple of days - I planned time to relax. I observed my mind carefully and skipped everything that was too overwhelming and making my brain buzzing. I changed the bedtime routines: no more mobile time or work-related reading. Instyle magazine makes me snooze in five minutes. 

In the long run, adrenaline fatigue can create diseases as the body responses to mind’s constant overwhelm negative chatter and requirements.
 

Get to know your stress-factors and know your habits:

  • What habits of yours do you like, why?
  • What habits do you want to change? 

We need to keep track of our habits and know how they affect us - it can be very unconscious. If we don’t know what is creating the stress, we can’t react and respond it.


6 steps to releasing the stressful chaos and worries:

Take a pen and paper or open your notebook, and start answering the following questions:

  1. How do I feel now - in the body and mind?  

  2. What issues are stressing you and causing this feeling? Write them all down no matter it's 99 issues and worries. 

  3. What are the worries that you can't do anything about? The future is not in your hands, the now is.

  4. What can you do to your list? Prioritize them. 

  5. Plan how and when you get those things done (please don’t overplan and exhaust yourself as you can do only three foremost things per day).

  6. Ask yourself why have you chosen to do it? Remind yourself about your what you accomplish when you get there and finish the sentence:
     
    “I am doing this because…” and decide to be excited about it. You need to decide it if you don't feel it.

There you go - now you have a clear plan and you know it's doable and you can affect.

This gives you the motivation, as we all have to eat our shit sandwich as Elizabeth Gilbert calls it: no matter we follow our passions, we still need to do the work, and often it's challenging. 

When you choose to struggle for the things that matter to you and are important, it's not that bad at all as you know it is meaningful to you.   

The worrying thoughts won’t take away tomorrow’s problems, but they will take away today’s joy. 

If you liked this post, please share it, tweet it, pin it, like it!

With love,
Jenni

Are you repeating your parents' mistakes?

At the airport recently I was going to the gate alongside parents traveling with their two young boys. The elder boy was walking together with his parents, but the younger was peevish, staying behind and slowing everyone down.

He didn't want to go through security and therefore walked as slowly as possible to get his parents' attention.

Suddenly this five-year-old, who followed the rest of the family hugging his teddy bear, started crying out:

"You don't like me. Nobody likes me. You like Sam more than me."

Hearing him say this, sudden tears of compassion came to my eyes.

I understood so well how he felt.

The scene could have been lifted directly from my childhood, even the words he used were the same.

My cousin still teases me about the time when we visited her family. I woke everyone up during the night as I was crying out loud my 'nobody loves me' cry. No matter how much my mom comforted me, I had already formed a belief that I was not lovable at the age of four.

It was not my fault, nor was it my parents' fault. They didn’t know how to experience their feelings or how to teach me to experience mine. In the late 70’s and 80's, when I grew up, people were often not as emotionally or spiritually aware as we are today.

Also, there’s cultural patterns. I come from Finland and Finns are known as silent people who do not easily express any kind of emotion. Emotions were simply not talked about or expressed that much when I was a child.

They did their best, like most parents do.

There’s a reason why I’ve had to heal myself emotionally in this lifetime.

Sometimes, it only requires one sentence or one look, for the child to create a trauma; a harmful self-belief which can affect them for decades if it’s not released and changed.

In my case, I never really learned how to feel and deal with my emotions, fears, and feelings as a child.

I felt abandoned because I didn’t get the emotional response I needed from my parents.

As a little girl, I learned subconsciously that I needed to earn love.

I learned if I do a lot; become better; improve myself; and aim for perfection all the time, then I get approval. Then I am enough and I earn a reason to receive the love and approval I so craved. No one required me to do that. I did a lot of sports; was good at school; and had a full schedule when I was little. I thrived as a child, but as long as I can remember, I felt lonely.

Everyone thought I was ambitious and that’s why I was so hard on myself. They thought that was why I was so hard working and needed to constantly achieve something, to feel fulfilled. I never felt I’m “there” - nothing was enough.

Working hard, pleasing people and striving for perfection didn’t work out.

It didn’t wipe away the feelings of loneliness and fear of abandonment; or the fear that I don’t belong anywhere.

I repeated these cycles for decades, until I stepped on the path of self-love and approval and learned deep down the root cause of these feelings.

As an adult, my emotional wound - I’m not lovable as I am and love needs to be earned - made me work and push myself too much. It was so exhausting, I created unstable, abusive relationships, and I couldn’t really trust anyone enough; I still thought they would hurt or abandon me. All this made me create physical issues and self-sabotaging habits - it all comes from a confused mind and misleading beliefs.

Things have changed for me since and fortunately there’s a way for everyone to change these beliefs.

Emotional abandonment is one of the deepest wounds; and difficult to overcome.

We all have emotional wounds and so many of us believe we are not good enough to have and get what we really deserve and want - often very simple things.

We can repeat our family patterns from generation to generation until we put a stop to it. Any kind of suffering doesn't really run in a family - nor do most diseases.

It's not easy to change habits or behavior if you don't know what’s causing them or how to solve your issues at the root. But this self discovery is the only way to stop passing issues on to your kids; or repeating patterns in your own life.

That is your responsibility as a parent and you owe it to yourself too (same goes with relationships). If you repeatedly do something that you don't understand and don't like about yourself (maybe something your parents did to you) - there is a way to change it.

When working with clients, and on my own healing journey, I have found ways to heal and get over these painful patterns.

The tools I have found work best to help change habits are transformational hypnotherapy; energy healing work; and coaching.

Much love,

Jenni

Simple Way to Boost Productivity and Increase Focus

I have been the biggest procrastinator I know and the habit caused me a lot of struggle and self-doubt as I was just not able to follow through my plans and desires. (By Gretchen Rubin's framework my tendency type is Rebel, meaning that I often resist all, inner and outer, expectations - mostly my own).  

It has been a huge learning curve for me to learn how to say no, also for myself, and set boundaries, when I just want to do this and that quickly, and ideas pop up in my head, which just distracts me (nowadays I write the them down “for later” so that I make myself to believe that I don't miss a thing).

I know so many of us who work themselves or manage their own time and schedule and struggle a lot with their time management. I wanted to share a technique with you that helps to get things fast and efficiently and it helps you to commit your goals and tasks.

 

How to increase your productivity, do things efficiently and keep your focus? 

This is called Pomodoro method (Pomodoro means tomato in Italian), which is amazing when you don’t have much time and you want to get things done fast and optimize your time and effort.

Many people use way too much time for simple things as they just don’t do it. This method increases your productivity when you start using it (and it makes you happier). 

Francesco Cirillo was cutting tomatoes when he got the idea of the Pomodoro Technique on the 80’s. 

How would it feel for you if you would feel complete at the end of every day?

First of all (this is my preparation advice):

  • Plan your months, weeks and days (read here how to do it and download the free daily planner).

  • Splitting your time in chunks keep you on your happy tracks.

  • Clarify the outcome what you want and need to do.

  • What would make you feel complete with the task?

  • What is the tiny little thing that you need and want to get done?

  • Minimize all the distractions: email, phone, social media accounts - everything that could distract you.

Then we are getting into the traditional Pomodoro method:

  • Set the timer for 25 minutes.

  • Start working - you only have to work for 25 minutes, so it’s not a big deal right?

  • When the alarm peeps, take a 5-10 minute break.

Repeat for four times (100 minutes) and then take a longer 20-minute break (great time for meditation, just taking it easy, get some fresh air and empty your mind).


Why it works?

1) You set a clear intention for what you want to achieve.

2) You minimize all the distractions and focus 100% and you will get more done in 20 minutes than in hours.

3) You allow yourself to work in small time junks, which is so much easier than climbing to the huge mountain at once and feel overwhelm by it!

4) Small steps - fantastic accomplishments and you will feel complete, satisfied and rewarded after you are done.

Don’t go to social media during the breaks if you don’t really have to. You only get distracted and overwhelmed or end up in a social media rabbit hole and suddenly two hours is gone. Or you start comparing yourself to others and self-doubt takes over. So say brave no for social media!

As Francesco's brilliant idea proves: the best ideas always come when you least expect them! No pushing, no struggling - but with life with ease attitude!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know in the comments below in what ways were you able to boost your productivity or what is the biggest block for you.


With love,
Jenni

WHY YOU CAN'T GET STARTED AND MAKE THINGS HAPPEN

Quite often we know exactly what we could do in order to get there, but something just keeps us stuck. Often we don't even know what it is that is preventing us from moving forward, and we just stay stuck.

The more we struggle against our inner voice and calling, the more frustration we create...

I'm talking about fear.

Usually, we are the ones who are standing in the way of our own happiness and success.

There are all kind of fears: fear of happiness, fear of success, fear of what other people think if we star doing what we really want, fear of commitment, fear of not being good enough, fear of receiving...

These are so powerful beliefs and keeping so many people unhappily stuck exactly where they are. No matter they want to live an extraordinary life, in their own terms. They let their fears prevent them to live to the fullest and eventually, they just give up and satisfy and don't use their skills or follow their real passions... And I don't want that happen to you!

THe good news is: there is a way out of it! watch the video below and learn how to do it.

:

1) Look within: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT MOST RIGHT NOW? Write down all max. five things that have been bugging you on your "should do/be/have/dream" list. Skip the obvious that already is part of your life; put down only the things that you have resisted most.

Write down all the things that have been bugging you on your "should do/be/have/dream" list. Skip the obvious that already are part of your life; put down only the things that you have resisted most, maybe for a long time.

It can be about finding a new job, asking more money, starting a new hobby or a blog, a website, writing course, developing yourself somehow... 

You are unique, so are your desires, so it is about you.

2) PICK ONE. The first one that you see. Don't start pondering in between the options, you can do them all but you need to start one thing at the time.

3) FEEL IT - face the fear, the resistance - what does it tell you? Accept and approve it: get over it. It just shows you the right way, just do the opposite and believe the opposite your fear and mind is telling you. It just wants to keep your safe, so be gentle with yourself.

4) TAKE ACTION - There is no short-cut to the treasure: what is the first step to getting ahead with it? Now, go ahead and

Now, go ahead and do it.

Just do it.

Taking action and feeling it all is the only way to get over the fears, create a personal breakthrough, feel like a winner and alive! 

When you learn to do this, following through your desires one by one, you will see how changes start happening, your courage will grow and - no matter the fears will never totally leave us (they are keeping us safe in the end)  - we can learn how to live with them and use them as a guidance.

So now, go ahead and do what you want to do!

Much Love, Jenni

10 tips for better sleep (and health and wellness)

We all know how important sleep is for our well-being. Lack of sleep affects the mind, happiness, and weight and can cause all kind of side-symptoms.

People who suffer from insomnia are ready to do anything to get some sleep, I know that from my own experience. Years ago I suffered from insomnia and I know all about the horrors it can cause. In the end, when I took the responsibility of it, I used all these methods to create new evening routines and balance my distracted mind and create a new mindset about sleeping.

10 tips for better sleep

  1. Create healthy evening routines. Adults need routines as well. What are your evening routines? Is it serving your sleeping? Modify your routines, if needed and follow them even while you are traveling and on the weekends. Reserve enough time for your sleeping routines in the evenings.
  2. An hour before bedtime: no social media, internet, games - switch off all the gadgets. No work related reading either but something empowering and positive. TV doesn't belong in the bedroom: it makes your sleep worse and keeps your brain up and running all night. It doesn't remove the stressful thoughts but just distracts your mind other ways. What to do instead? Journal, read, just relax, draw, stretch, meditate or be present and have a conversation with your family.
  3. Set your alarm early in the evening. So that you don't need to think about it just before bedtime.
  4. Write your worry list & work through your thoughts about the day before getting into bed. Don't try to go to bed with stressful thoughts. Write down all the things and thoughts running in your mind - I mean everything including the negative feelings. It helps you to release anxiety that often sneaks in in the middle of the night and then keeps you awake. Remember, what you can't change or affect is not useful worry about. Don't carry the baggage you can't release.
  5. Keep your bedroom dark, quiet and cool. Dark blue is a great, calming color.
  6. Cut off caffeine already on the afternoon (tea, coffee, soda) - it affects to your body. Switch to decaf coffee and tea.
  7. Cut off alcohol: many believe that nightcap or couple of glasses of wine can make it feel easier to fall asleep, but you are more likely to wake up frequently.  And you slowly create a need/addiction with alcohol. If you are ready to explore cut off alcohol for a couple of weeks and you will feel calmer, sleep better and feel more energized.
  8. Take deep breathes (meditate). Close your eyes and breathe. Or put your legs up on the wall and just breathe for 5 to 10 minutes. Very calming and tranquilizing, slowing down your system and stress levels.
  9. Avoid heavy exercise or heavy meals late in the evening.  
  10. If you wake-up in the middle of the night, don't panic - it's fine. Get up, do something calming, reading or meditation and when you feel tired again, go back to bed.

These tips can help to calm down in the evening and release the stress and tension that often disturbs the mind and prevent sleeping. If you suffer from long-term insomnia or if you feel fearful about sleep already in the evening or need to use sleeping aid often or every night, it is good to take it seriously and work things out to avoid more serious issues and exhaustion.

You can learn to sleep again and find new ways to calm yourself down and sleep well again. There are different ways to ease the distracted mind and release insomnia - hypnotherapy is a fast and effective natural therapy method that can help you to learn to sleep again: Read my more here.

If you want to know more could it help for you contact me here.

What are your evening routines, what do you do in the evenings to make sure you sleep well? 

Sweet dreams!

Much love, Jenn

How to practice gratitude & boost happiness, health, and abundance

This is a habit you  w a n t  to bring into your life. Practicing gratitude, a.k.a paying attention to the good things in your life on daily basis, uplifts your mood and gives clarity in just a few minutes.

In the long run, it is an effective practice and a crucial tool helping to manifest your desires and visions. Practicing gratitude keeps you going towards your goals and mindful in the moments, while you get priceless recognition and acknowledge of your own efforts every day. It's like you are giving yourself short-term rewards that we all need to hear.

Watch the video and learn more about it and why it is worth it:

How to start practicing

List ten things that you can be grateful for: the events that make you happy or make you smile. Use simple short sentences about things, encounters, your experiences or feelings— whatever details you recall from that day.

  1. Write it down in your notebook, peace of paper or your phone app. You can say it out loud (great to practice in the car while driving).
  2. Choose a method what works best for you or use all of them. Listing things in your mind may work but usually, the mind sidetracks by other thoughts.
  3. Feel every word in your gut and be honest. If you want to emphasize it a little bit more, add why you feel that way (recommended).

What happens when you start practicing gratitude:

  • You stop to see, feel and learn to recognize your positive emotions. 
  • You learn to notice the small meaningful things that make you happy (and are the 
  • You consciously change your mindset to positive.
  • You bring yourself to the present moment and grow your awareness.
  • You show effort as you take action.
  • You attract more goodness into your life.
  • You stop taking things for granted.
  • You respect life in a new way.

Starting a new practice can feel time-consuming at first, like starting a meditation practice or a new hobby but it will soon become easier, as you will soon you will start noticing the positive outcomes of this practice.

I usually do my gratitude practice in the evening, if not during the day when in need of extra energy - it is one of the mindful living tools, and it offers you a moment to take a breath. I track my day backward and pay attention to the tiniest details, what I saw or what happened during the day and how I felt.

Do you practice gratitude? How has it changed your life? Let me know your experience in the comments below.

Love,

Jenni

How to beat procrastination and get things done with ease

How to beat procrastination and get things done with ease

Do you often hear yourself saying: I have to…, I should…, I must… or I need to... And then you just don't do it - do you struggle with procrastination?