self-knowledge

Know Yourself Beyond the Thoughts

Last week I was in Greece at the Know Thyself retreat with Eckhart Tolle.

He is warm, compassionate and surprisingly funny. He is a weird and extremely wise human being, and yes, he still has an ego.

I didn’t really know what to expect from the retreat but my intention was to deepen my consciousness.

I have never taken fewer notes in a retreat or seminar than I did on this retreat. I have always taken a lot of notes but this time I wanted to stop focusing on my notes, over-achieving, and instead focus on being, breathing and allowing it soak in.

It was part of the practice and it worked well.

I got a great reminder of why I started doing the work I’m doing today. It all started from the present, through my own, not that gentle experience, of awakening.

With all acceptance of and detachment from my past, I have to say it could have been a lot easier if I hadn’t resisted the change so much but listened to my inner voice.

It’s very common for people to say life or universe, higher powers, god, however you call it, doesn’t want me to do or have this.

Or they think the universe needs them to go through something the hard way.

It’s not true, the limitless, abundant universe wants all the best for you.

Each and every moment we create our reality; the manifestations are based on our choices: from thoughts and feelings to reality.

Most people are just not conscious about it. They don’t want to stop to see it, as their unhappy repetitive stories keep them stuck in their minds and resisting their goodness.

I can relate.

For years I was waiting for the “sign” and the right time and in the meantime I kept suffering. I didn’t see there were signs all around me. It was roaring in my ears while I kept myself struggling.

I lived in denial without the ability to face the challenges and the feelings I felt, trying to shut down the calling and my desires to become a creator. It all made me feel that I was living a trapped life.

I learned that becoming aware of your thoughts and you can then recognize the mind patterns.

For me, spirituality means and is one important part of us, it’s part of humanness. It’s not a religion, nothing that someone has or hasn’t, it’s awareness about the essence of the self. It’s a key to happiness and contentment.

Once you become aware of the awareness, presence and the conditioned self, you become free.

It’s the learned old beliefs and emotional concepts that keep people in the cycle of self-sabotage.

To have a life you love, you have to create it consciously.

Getting over obstacles and challenges, that will never go away completely, becomes a lot easier when there is self-awareness and non-judgemental unconditional acceptance.

Acceptance (and forgiveness) is the key to releasing and changing anything. Accepting our situation, ourselves, and others are the keys leading to consciousness and sense of self - being you requires no time at all.

At any moment peace can be found in the presence, connecting with it by breathing and sense of self.

The more open we are to receiving, the easier it is to make good choices and put in the conscious effort that will open up more possibilities for us.

The answers and creative solutions can be found from stillness, behind the distracted mind.

Learn to listen.

Practice being present and learn the habits of becoming aware and connecting with the self. Life is not satisfying if the spaciousness is missing.

My biggest takeaway from the retreat was the “hurry slowly” practice that became part of my days.

I’ve been balancing between the high-intensity energy, creative bursts, that have kept me in the doing mode, thinking about the next thing in the future, and the total being mode when nothing happens.

Hurry slowly means that I consciously connect with the presence, checking my thoughts and feelings and the space behind it. I want to balance the yin-yang, push-pull feeling and bring more being and doing together.

How to do it?  

Set the timer and stop for a couple of minutes every hour to check in and do nothing, think nothing and just breathe.

Breathing, which is automatic and a gift itself, connects with the consciousness, our higher selves and the body.

You breathe is always with you. That’s the way to create more time too. There’s no time in presence. Or there’s as much time as you need.

We don’t have to be totally zen or aim to attain complete thoughtlessness or egolessness. Our mind also protects us, keeps us safe.

We don’t need to meditate hours daily, sacrifice our sleep, or over-achieve the spiritual practices, or do years of soul-searching.

Little things matter, you don’t need time to find the best version of yourself. It’s already there: you are here.

Connect behind the cacophony, and enjoy the yourself. You deserve goodness and happiness, now.

Becoming free from ourselves requires conscious awareness:

Learn to recognize your thoughts and feelings to let go of the past with unconditional acceptance.

Elevate your thinking, rise above the obvious.

Ask questions, don’t believe the old stories you tell yourself.

Get support.

When you are willing to change and are ready to heal, it will happen. What you want wants you.  

How can you deepen your consciousness? How could you listen to yourself better?

I’d love to hear from you! Ask questions, or comment below what habits or changes have worked for you!


Much love, Jenni

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Are you repeating your parents' mistakes?

At the airport recently I was going to the gate alongside parents traveling with their two young boys. The elder boy was walking together with his parents, but the younger was peevish, staying behind and slowing everyone down.

He didn't want to go through security and therefore walked as slowly as possible to get his parents' attention.

Suddenly this five-year-old, who followed the rest of the family hugging his teddy bear, started crying out:

"You don't like me. Nobody likes me. You like Sam more than me."

Hearing him say this, sudden tears of compassion came to my eyes.

I understood so well how he felt.

The scene could have been lifted directly from my childhood, even the words he used were the same.

My cousin still teases me about the time when we visited her family. I woke everyone up during the night as I was crying out loud my 'nobody loves me' cry. No matter how much my mom comforted me, I had already formed a belief that I was not lovable at the age of four.

It was not my fault, nor was it my parents' fault. They didn’t know how to experience their feelings or how to teach me to experience mine. In the late 70’s and 80's, when I grew up, people were often not as emotionally or spiritually aware as we are today.

Also, there’s cultural patterns. I come from Finland and Finns are known as silent people who do not easily express any kind of emotion. Emotions were simply not talked about or expressed that much when I was a child.

They did their best, like most parents do.

There’s a reason why I’ve had to heal myself emotionally in this lifetime.

Sometimes, it only requires one sentence or one look, for the child to create a trauma; a harmful self-belief which can affect them for decades if it’s not released and changed.

In my case, I never really learned how to feel and deal with my emotions, fears, and feelings as a child.

I felt abandoned because I didn’t get the emotional response I needed from my parents.

As a little girl, I learned subconsciously that I needed to earn love.

I learned if I do a lot; become better; improve myself; and aim for perfection all the time, then I get approval. Then I am enough and I earn a reason to receive the love and approval I so craved. No one required me to do that. I did a lot of sports; was good at school; and had a full schedule when I was little. I thrived as a child, but as long as I can remember, I felt lonely.

Everyone thought I was ambitious and that’s why I was so hard on myself. They thought that was why I was so hard working and needed to constantly achieve something, to feel fulfilled. I never felt I’m “there” - nothing was enough.

Working hard, pleasing people and striving for perfection didn’t work out.

It didn’t wipe away the feelings of loneliness and fear of abandonment; or the fear that I don’t belong anywhere.

I repeated these cycles for decades, until I stepped on the path of self-love and approval and learned deep down the root cause of these feelings.

As an adult, my emotional wound - I’m not lovable as I am and love needs to be earned - made me work and push myself too much. It was so exhausting, I created unstable, abusive relationships, and I couldn’t really trust anyone enough; I still thought they would hurt or abandon me. All this made me create physical issues and self-sabotaging habits - it all comes from a confused mind and misleading beliefs.

Things have changed for me since and fortunately there’s a way for everyone to change these beliefs.

Emotional abandonment is one of the deepest wounds; and difficult to overcome.

We all have emotional wounds and so many of us believe we are not good enough to have and get what we really deserve and want - often very simple things.

We can repeat our family patterns from generation to generation until we put a stop to it. Any kind of suffering doesn't really run in a family - nor do most diseases.

It's not easy to change habits or behavior if you don't know what’s causing them or how to solve your issues at the root. But this self discovery is the only way to stop passing issues on to your kids; or repeating patterns in your own life.

That is your responsibility as a parent and you owe it to yourself too (same goes with relationships). If you repeatedly do something that you don't understand and don't like about yourself (maybe something your parents did to you) - there is a way to change it.

When working with clients, and on my own healing journey, I have found ways to heal and get over these painful patterns.

The tools I have found work best to help change habits are transformational hypnotherapy; energy healing work; and coaching.

Much love,

Jenni