confidence

How To Make Confident Decisions

People would rather avoid making decisions (sometimes for years!) than think it through and face what they need to face. They don’t feel ready to make the decision that would take away all the pressure and move things forward quickly.

Indecisiveness is a very common habit. Yes, a habit.

It is based on self-doubt; insecurities; fear or lack of courage; and simply an inability to listen to the self and inner truth.

In more serious situations, it causes procrastination, anxiety, low self-image, addictions, and even suffering to others.

I remember when I was younger and hung out with my girlfriends. Together we discussed whether someone should send a text to her date or not; or if someone should stop dating a guy; or what that guy really meant by what he’d said. Or where the heck he disappeared to!

No one advised that we should just ask the guy, or even asked the girl what she thought would be the right thing for her to do.

And of course, it went on and on with almost everything: what to wear; or eat; what to do in life; and so forth. It was not really about giving empowering advice or allowing the one who was looking for help to decide for herself.

It was just endless comparison, which most often is based on the other person’s life views and experiences (often insecurities, jealousy, and disappointments). Usually, the one who everyone tried to help just felt more confused and indecisive.

Maybe you can relate to this?

The more people we ask, the more varying opinions we get. And the more lost we may feel.

Comparison destroys clarity and confidence.

What’s behind it

Often it’s a learned belief that others are more capable of making choices for them. Sometimes it’s a need to please and a conflicted way to earn love and acceptance.

Or they are afraid of judgment, of being seen as too bossy, ambitious, or powerful if they make confident decisions and know and express what they want.

There can be a deep fear of making mistakes or of failure.

However, we can fail and things can go terribly wrong just because decisions are not made early enough.

They feel they can gain more confidence and hide their insecurities by letting other people make decisions or listening to other’s opinions.

Some people struggle with making decisions because they don’t want to take responsibility for their lives and the results of their choices.

But no one else can make the right choices for you, no one knows better than you; it’s something you must do for yourself.

That’s why I usually advise that people only talk with someone who they trust and who will be wise enough to stay away from pushing their own opinions or agenda.

There’s a difference between helping someone to find their truth and telling them what they should do.

Letting other people make decisions for you means giving your power and control away.

Don’t give the lead in your life to others: everything in your life should be based on the choices you make.

With simple choices, it’s not that big a deal but with major life decisions, it’s dangerous.

Take initiative in your own life.  

Here are 10 key things I have learned about confidence:

1. Confidence is the ability to hear your ideas, thoughts, and feelings and trust them.

2. It is built through repeated acts of everyday courage to say yes and no.

3. It is an empowering feeling that replaces your existing habits of self-doubt and fear.

4. It’s not a fixed skill that some people have and some don’t. Everyone has fears and insecurities.

5. No problem or worry exists if you can do something about it. There are always solutions and possibilities. Trust and wait until you know.

6. When you change your behavior you change your mind(set), and your physics (energy) - those two things will start to change the situation.

7. Criticism, procrastination, self-doubt or victimizing all lead to lower confidence and decreased self-esteem.

8. Feelings are natural, but your behavior and thoughts are a choice - by changing your thoughts you can create more positive feelings.

9. Lack of clarity and self-control can feel like a confidence issue.

10. Practice your confidence and decision making skills by stopping shortly before you make any decisions. Ask yourself what is the right thing for you and then decide if it’s a YES or NO.

Sometimes “I don’t know” is a very good answer and you can take time until you know.  

Great decisions are always made when the heart, mind, and gut are connected.

Before you reach that point, quiet down and sit with yourself to get really clear on what you want and need:

  • What is the question you need an answer to?

  • How would you want things to go?

  • What are the options?

  • What feels right for you?

Recognize the feelings and fears. Are they really, absolutely true and worth holding on to? Stop listening to what the world says you should do. When you really think about it, you cannot know if your worst fear will come true, we cannot avoid risks.

Deep inside you know what you want.

Often the answer is an intuitive feeling, something that you have probably “known” all the time.

It’s okay if it feels a little intimidating, as that's when it’s usually right. Most often the best decisions come from doing the thing that scares you.

Nothing changes if you don’t change it. Life is unknown.

Expect the positive best outcome. Trust that everything always works for you.

Trust your gut and respect yourself by making your own decisions.  

To help you make the changes and decisions faster, I wanted to share my transformational, super relaxing courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

Click here to access this free meditation audio. To get more inspiration, join my weekly newsletter here.

Much love,

Jenni

Boosting your courage is a key to clarity

Too many people shy away from using their real potential, going after their dreams, and passions just because they lack courage and don't believe in themselves enough.

A big part of my clients come to me with the confidence and self-esteem issues. They know that it's them who are somehow standing in their own way. 

They want to find what keeps them stuck and how to get courage and clarity they lack. 

They want to start their business, write their books, use their creative talents, have healthy relationships, find a new job - be independent financially and mentally.

In the end it's about feeling free to be who they truly are and do what they love!

If you are not doing what is important and meaningful to you, it’s pretty much impossible to live fulfilled, happy life. 

Quite often they believe there’s something wrong with them, which is not true. 

The lack of courage, self-doubt and self-criticism hold the invisible curtain in their mind, blocking the needed clarity and direction

It’s difficult to see things objectively and create a big picture and take action if the negative self-talk and learned beliefs have taken the control.

This is the source of frustrations, insecurities, and anxiety, that only makes you feel more stuck.  

Increasing courage and self-esteem is a key to healing this. 

How to do this?

Get clear of the language that you use when you talk to yourself and others (critical people are extremely harsh on themselves) and start re-wiring your mind by using affirmations and talking to yourself in encouraging, kind and gentle ways. Train your mind!  

I promise you will see a difference in you and the results you get in a short time! 

To help you make the changes faster, I wanted to share my transformational, courage boosting meditation that helps to reduce self-doubt and find that determination and activate the perfect confidence you already have in you.

 

Jenni xo

P.S. Courage and Confidence is part of the Conscious Creator Program and enrolment to this life-changing program is open now! 


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Photo by Vladimir Kudinov http://www.vladimirkudinov.com/

What I learned on the saddest day of my life

Overwhelm, anxiety, and feeling drained is, unfortunately, a new norm. I hear that every day from my clients.

And I can relate.

In this vlog I'm talking about the realization that helped me to change the course of my life and gave me the power to take it towards what I really desired and was passionate about: to find my purpose and authentic happiness.   

I'm also talking about why it's crucial to connect with ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally, and how to release the old blockages that keep you stuck in your situation.

You'll get guidance of how to start creating intentional life and why intentions really make a difference for your future.

There is a way out of the constant struggling and set yourself free. 

Watch the video or listen to the audio below.

If you like this vlog share with your friends! 

Boost your confidence and self-esteem and download my ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio here.

 

 

Thank you for watching! 

Love,
Jenni

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni