clarity

Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

  2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

  3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

  4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

  • When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

  • You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

  • You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

  • Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

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Love,
Jenni