Happiness

The Glad Show with Laureen Ellison: I didn't only want a new job but a whole new life

On this episode of the Glad Show I talk with one of my clients, Laureen Ellison, who was able to dramatically change her life. We look at what changed and why, and talk about how Laureen consciously created the circumstances for this big leap in her career and life.

Why it's important to get really clear About what you want

Laureen is a successful powerhouse and a career woman in marketing and communications. She is the breadwinner of her family, mom of two and she loves travel, sports, and design. Today she’s living in Amsterdam with her family after living in New York City for more than 10 years.

In this conversation, Laureen is sharing what she did and how she was able to change from the  frustrating “not knowing” (other than she wanted something else, a new, bigger life but she didn’t know what it was or how to get access to it) mode to self-awareness and daily connection to self.  Trusting that she has what it takes to lead her life towards her desires consciously.

In just a couple of months Laureen made a big leap and shifted her life consciously based on her real desires: she found a new exciting job that took her and her family to live abroad, getting to travel to exotic places, while at the same time the new day to day life allows more time to be present and enjoy her family.  

All this is what she at some point thought was impossible. 

We talk about:

  • What’s required for upleveling your career.

  • How you become free to know what you really want next.

  • How the culture and external demands often lead us far away from happiness, who we are and what we can do in life.

  • What to do when the challenges come and it feels like there’s a bump in the road.

  • The ways to start manifesting the big desires to come true.

  • What the recipe to being successful and content in all areas of life is.

And much more!

This episode is great for anyone who wants to change their career and take it to the next level. For those who want to follow their passions but can’t currently connect to what it is they should do next or how to make the big shifts and move consciously forward.

Watch it here

After you have watched leave a comment below and share your thoughts or any questions you might have! 

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more.

To have a healthy, loving relationship self-knowledge is key

Personally, it was the hardest thing for me to learn to say what I need in my relationship. In the beginning, I would rather have bitten my tongue than talk about anything difficult or to explain what I needed, which I often wasn't even able to recognize myself. This led to resentment and passive aggressiveness.

Over the years I have blamed him for not seeing or listening to me, that was before I turned inwards to see my own input. How I haven’t paid attention and opened up a real conversation about it. Instead letting my past hurts get triggered, hurts which had nothing to do with him. 

We all have our default beliefs based on our earlier experiences. I never learned, or was allowed, to express my needs or feelings safely. It's a common issue that many generations experience. 

As a child, I learned surface emotions were expressed by arguing, and the real ones were to be hidden in the silence. But time and avoidance doesn't heal problems. Unresolved arguments and unexpressed needs only build resentment.

It’s easy to play the victim and to silently blame others or the circumstances, while avoiding feeling our feelings and showing our real vulnerable selves. Together, me and my partner have learned to discuss fears and issues when they show up.

To stay in balance I constantly need to pay attention to give love to myself, so that I can then receive it from my partner. I need to hear that I’m loved often enough and sometimes I ask for it. Now that I’m pregnant I need that even more! I could be cuddled and hugged all the time like a baby. Touching releases the oxytocin hormone, which is needed for getting the body ready for the birth and of course, the growing baby needs it too. But so do adults. 

This is what I often hear people saying:

“Why do I have to be the good one and take responsibility for the communication and bring things up?”

“It’s about him or her and I have done nothing wrong, I’m doing my best.”

“I wish s/he would change and understand me better.”

“S/he will never change. S/he always…”

“Why is it me who always has to…”

Because someone has to make the change. Nothing will change if we don't change it. This kind of cycle needs to be stopped and the patterns must be broken - consciously.

Over time couples become so close that they can't see the “bad’ habits and patterns they have created together. Habits which are causing repetitive battles and issues. This piles up when old hurts and misunderstandings aren't resolved.

It's never really about the other person. In the end, it's about us and resonating what we need to learn from ourselves so that we can resolve the issues that will help us to heal and grow.

We get so used to each other, and therefore often take the relationship for granted and become less compassionate towards our partner. It’s easy to neglect each other, and stop seeing who our partners really are and what they might be going through. It’s easy to just assume, rather than ask them and see them clearly. Often we don't (want to) recognize how our own input is causing the issue. It's not fair to complain to friends, and not have a real talk with your chosen partner. 

Lack of communication and trust and an inability to be vulnerable are causing the emotional, and intimacy problems in many relationships.

Often your other half has no idea what's going on and what you might be thinking, and needing - you need to communicate it. There are so many misunderstandings in relationships, which sadly often lead to separation or divorce, just because of defensive egos and because people are not connected to their own hearts and feelings and have not solved the issues from their past. 

Too many people do not understand what they are projecting or why they feel how they feel.

However, if there is love and willingness, these issues can always be solved.  

Other people are often our mirrors: what you think and feel about others, they might think that about you. They often project and resonate with what we are afraid of and think the very same thing about us!

We communicate and sense without words often and therefore attract similar situations until we are ready to stop and learn. But only spoken words can create connection and understanding - when we choose to approach conversations with peace and compassion.

If you need a change and are not fully satisfied in your relationship, you need to step up; be open about your feelings and needs; and start the communication. 

It requires courage to be the one who stands up for their needs and asks for changes. It requires the courage to connect with the heart and speak for yourself. You want to do it for your happiness. 

The better you know yourself, the better your relationships will be and the more open you can be.

Taking responsibility for your own needs is a measure of your self-worth and appreciation. And beautifully shows you your limiting beliefs and what you might be avoiding. Maybe it’s about fear of commitment, lacking deeper emotional connection, trust issues, fear of having real happiness or facing the truth...

It never goes wrong and people never turn against us when we are able to show our real feelings and worries vulnerably. It releases the tension and shifts the energy.

It’s not weakness, it’s power. It then opens up the possibility of your other half opening up and taking responsibility for their feelings. It simply leads to a resolution and clarity. It strengthens the emotional connection - and adds more love, partnership, and trust. 

We simply need to be who we are and be able to share our deepest fears and feelings to our partners safely. 

So, what to say and how to change this?

Say what you don’t want to say - I know it’s easy to say that, but it’s the truth.

Do what you don’t want to do and face your fears confidently. You’ll be rewarded.

If your issue is that you are over-compassionate and understanding towards your partner, and you carry their emotions too, you are probably forgetting your own needs. You deserve to get what you want and need, and you are worthy of asking for that.  

It might feel in the beginning as though it’s not working. That’s only because as you change your behaviour and release your defensive barriers your partner is not used to it. It’s like they can’t believe that you are not coming from a resentful, defensive place but instead are approaching the situation with peace and calm. It will change, we always face resistance and challenges before things start flowing. You are doing this for you both, for your relationship and for your happiness future.

Coming from a loving place provides an opportunity for growth. As we need to grow constantly in life, so too do we need to grow and change in our relationships.

I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment below: How have you resolved your relationship communication issues? How did you learn to speak up? 

Love, Jenni 

BEFORE YOU GO…

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The Glad Show with Arnaud Collery: Stand up for your passion!

On this episode of The Glad Show, we talk with Chief Happiness Officer, Arnaud Collery, about happiness, passion and the ways how you can find and start following your purpose.

Arnaud is an influencer, stand up comedian, actor, party organizer, speaker, writer, coach, and author of the book Mr. Happiness!

He is a true storyteller and finds his inspiring stories on his travels and connecting with people. He has shed his skin and started from scratch multiple times by following his passions and exploring the world by traveling and living in multiple countries, including a South American tribe while he was searching for his meaning. 

Arnaud is the founder of Stand Up For Passion events that are organized in New York and all around the world. He has created the Chief Happiness Officer concept, and coaches companies and individuals connect and empathy at work through storytelling. 

We are talking about his fascinating story of life and how he eventually found the meaningful and fulfilling work that he is doing today. 

This episode is great for anyone who is at the crossroads and wants to find their passion and purpose in the world. We talk about authentic happiness, what it really means and how does it feel.

You'll get some tips on how to get started on creating your journey by following your real desires. 

Watch the interview here

AFTER YOU HAVE WATCHED THE EPISODE COMMENT BELOW AND SHARE your thoughts about passion OR ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE!

You can contact Arnaud and round more information about the Stand Up for Passion events and his book on his website.

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for watching!

Much love,
Jenni

P.S. Subscribe the Glad Show here and get email updates, inspiration, free resources and more.

WHY YOU CAN'T GET STARTED AND MAKE THINGS HAPPEN

Quite often we know exactly what we could do in order to get there, but something just keeps us stuck. Often we don't even know what it is that is preventing us from moving forward, and we just stay stuck.

The more we struggle against our inner voice and calling, the more frustration we create...

I'm talking about fear.

Usually, we are the ones who are standing in the way of our own happiness and success.

There are all kind of fears: fear of happiness, fear of success, fear of what other people think if we star doing what we really want, fear of commitment, fear of not being good enough, fear of receiving...

These are so powerful beliefs and keeping so many people unhappily stuck exactly where they are. No matter they want to live an extraordinary life, in their own terms. They let their fears prevent them to live to the fullest and eventually, they just give up and satisfy and don't use their skills or follow their real passions... And I don't want that happen to you!

THe good news is: there is a way out of it! watch the video below and learn how to do it.

:

1) Look within: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT MOST RIGHT NOW? Write down all max. five things that have been bugging you on your "should do/be/have/dream" list. Skip the obvious that already is part of your life; put down only the things that you have resisted most.

Write down all the things that have been bugging you on your "should do/be/have/dream" list. Skip the obvious that already are part of your life; put down only the things that you have resisted most, maybe for a long time.

It can be about finding a new job, asking more money, starting a new hobby or a blog, a website, writing course, developing yourself somehow... 

You are unique, so are your desires, so it is about you.

2) PICK ONE. The first one that you see. Don't start pondering in between the options, you can do them all but you need to start one thing at the time.

3) FEEL IT - face the fear, the resistance - what does it tell you? Accept and approve it: get over it. It just shows you the right way, just do the opposite and believe the opposite your fear and mind is telling you. It just wants to keep your safe, so be gentle with yourself.

4) TAKE ACTION - There is no short-cut to the treasure: what is the first step to getting ahead with it? Now, go ahead and

Now, go ahead and do it.

Just do it.

Taking action and feeling it all is the only way to get over the fears, create a personal breakthrough, feel like a winner and alive! 

When you learn to do this, following through your desires one by one, you will see how changes start happening, your courage will grow and - no matter the fears will never totally leave us (they are keeping us safe in the end)  - we can learn how to live with them and use them as a guidance.

So now, go ahead and do what you want to do!

Much Love, Jenni

How to practice gratitude & boost happiness, health, and abundance

This is a habit you  w a n t  to bring into your life. Practicing gratitude, a.k.a paying attention to the good things in your life on daily basis, uplifts your mood and gives clarity in just a few minutes.

In the long run, it is an effective practice and a crucial tool helping to manifest your desires and visions. Practicing gratitude keeps you going towards your goals and mindful in the moments, while you get priceless recognition and acknowledge of your own efforts every day. It's like you are giving yourself short-term rewards that we all need to hear.

Watch the video and learn more about it and why it is worth it:

How to start practicing

List ten things that you can be grateful for: the events that make you happy or make you smile. Use simple short sentences about things, encounters, your experiences or feelings— whatever details you recall from that day.

  1. Write it down in your notebook, peace of paper or your phone app. You can say it out loud (great to practice in the car while driving).
  2. Choose a method what works best for you or use all of them. Listing things in your mind may work but usually, the mind sidetracks by other thoughts.
  3. Feel every word in your gut and be honest. If you want to emphasize it a little bit more, add why you feel that way (recommended).

What happens when you start practicing gratitude:

  • You stop to see, feel and learn to recognize your positive emotions. 
  • You learn to notice the small meaningful things that make you happy (and are the 
  • You consciously change your mindset to positive.
  • You bring yourself to the present moment and grow your awareness.
  • You show effort as you take action.
  • You attract more goodness into your life.
  • You stop taking things for granted.
  • You respect life in a new way.

Starting a new practice can feel time-consuming at first, like starting a meditation practice or a new hobby but it will soon become easier, as you will soon you will start noticing the positive outcomes of this practice.

I usually do my gratitude practice in the evening, if not during the day when in need of extra energy - it is one of the mindful living tools, and it offers you a moment to take a breath. I track my day backward and pay attention to the tiniest details, what I saw or what happened during the day and how I felt.

Do you practice gratitude? How has it changed your life? Let me know your experience in the comments below.

Love,

Jenni

How to beat procrastination and get things done with ease

How to beat procrastination and get things done with ease

Do you often hear yourself saying: I have to…, I should…, I must… or I need to... And then you just don't do it - do you struggle with procrastination?

Are you sabotaging yourself?

Are you sabotaging yourself?

A few years ago I stepped out from my uncomfortable and unsatisfying comfort zone and business career. I was so excited and pretty much stunned: I was going to do my dream job and work for myself - life felt super good. But when I got out to total uncertainty, I freaked out.

When the dreams are not coming true - How to deal with failure

When the dreams are not coming true - How to deal with failure

“If you awaken from this illusion….you can feel yourself not as a stranger in this world, not as something here on probation…” - Alan Watts.~get inspired~ Recently I was reminded of something important that I want to share with you. I felt little lost and I was jumping from site to site on the Internet, looking for inspiration and guidance from the coaches, teachers, and spiritual sites I follow. I found the Dream of life talk by Alan Watts - the one that inspired and touched me greatly a few years ago and it still does and .

Quick meditation to release and let go

Quick meditation to release and let go

This beautiful meditation is a tool for atonement, for correcting errors, erasing the effects of past actions and memories that cause havoc and grief in our lives. It’s the best way to look within, which is the best way to help others and yourself.

It’s all okay - Mindful living in the moments

I woke up at 2:27 am for hunger and racing thoughts. I knew I had two choices, either stay in the bed pressing my eyelids together and try to force myself back to sleep and eventually get frustrated, or I could get up and do something about it. Even though in that moment getting up felt like an effort, I knew “the tools” are working.

ONE MIND FULL NIGHT So I got up, ate a coconut yogurt and sat in the living room. The calm silence of the night is pretty comforting. I started breathing consciously in and out. I heard the traffic and the sirens. New York is one of the loudest cities in the world but actually, when you just focus to listen, there’s always some kind sound or wash, wherever you are.

The quietness, that floating, comforting and limitless space where the fulfillment lies, can be found behind all the noise.

I started scanning my body along my breathing and noticed some tension here and there and relaxed and released it consciously with the exhales. I observed my racing thoughts and emotions, simply recognizing what was going on in my mind.

I didn’t try to push the hassle away but I just followed-up and approved it all with the gentle self-compassion and curiosity. 

I sat in the living room maybe ten minutes, being fully present in my body, in my mind and in my breathing and the surroundings. I liked the calm space I had found and enjoyed being there alone. Soon I felt calm and noticed how I became tired again.

I was ready to go back to bed where I continued the conscious breathing counting in seven with the inhale and counting eleven with the exhale. Continuing to relax my body with the breathing. It’s a good old mindfulness trick giving the mind something else to do than worrying about the unnecessary things. I was sleeping sooner than I noticed and woke-up fresh and happy as I had listened to myself and my own guidance.

I do longer meditations too, depending on my schedule, but basically I’m using mindfulness and do mini-meditations along my days whenever I need the check-in, find the guidance what I desire, calm down, focus and balance myself from the feelings of rush or stress. Or when I just have time to be present and feel all the good in my life, which is the best way to recharge oneself and enjoy life. 

SIMPLE, EFFORTLESS EXERCISE The mind likes to warn us basically about everything scary and it just tries to keep us safe. Approving everything that is in that moment, is a way to release the negative emotions and the stressful thoughts, which are just thoughts.

Conscious breathing calms and roots us down when we are flying high. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body and lowers the stress levels. Breathing consciously in the middle of the day recharges your brain, your mind and your body in just few minutes.

If you’re are having a sleepless night or miss the peace during the days, try the tricks - bring your attention to you breathing whenever you are and give yourself a break to breathe: 

Count from 1 to 7 with the inhale, count from 1 to 11 with the exhale. 

IT'S FOR YOU TOO Many people still have think that practicing meditation is only something related to yoga, Eastern religions and spirituality. Or it’s woo-woo, which you just want to avoid. Or even though you would like to try, you don’t know how. Or you definitely don’t have time for it (a few minutes in the here and there, if possible 5 to 10 just after you have woken up).

I know, that’s what I said too. 

Meditation became my medication when I faced burnout and understood that peace and freedom I had been looking for, were to be found from inside. It was absolutely liberating for me to understand I can take the responsibility of my own wellbeing and create my kind of life.

I had meditated on the yoga classes for years but I was resisting to take the practice to my days as it felt difficult and weird without the yoga and physical exercise. Nothing really happened as I didn’t know what I should be feeling or how to recognize the voice of my mind and my heart. I was thinking about what I wanted to eat for dinner and then thought I just can’t meditate.

But that exactly is the practice. When the thoughts arise, you just go back to follow your breathing approving everything that is happening, without judgement. It will get easier. And your patience will grow. 

If you are looking for more happiness, and the feeling of being fully alive, feelings of love and compassion, ability to enjoy life, understanding, peace, balance and joy - these all are the benefits of the meditation and mindful living. And there are much more.

If you want to learn how to respond rather than react to life’s challenges, meditation helps. And it’s not only the emotional benefits when you get in touch with your emotions, but it improves the physical health too. And the relationships when you learn to be mindfully present.

Meditation is for everyone, it is the way to experience the life to the fullest and feel less stressed out. We need it in the middle of all distractions. It won’t take away life’s challenges, but when you become consciously aware and focus more on the present moment and less on your mobile phone, you'll become more connected with your emotions and feelings and needs, so you can take the responsibility of your own actions. You will get over the challenges sooner and you just don’t mind other people’s business that much.

If you want to be happy, be happy.

Ask, comment or let me know your thoughts - what have you found through mindfulness? What’s holding you back?

With love, Jenni

How to cool down when the heat is on (sweat the bitch out)

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Some itchy bitchy feelings suddenly caught me. I felt like I wanted to have a little battle and argument with someone. Even though I noticed the quick thought of wisdom in my mind saying:

"You should rather take some time alone to get the insight what is going on, than forcing yourself to socialize and follow your too-full schedule."

But I had made the plans and I don't like to cancel and disappoint others, so I almost flew down the stairs on Saturday morning. (I'm working on my habit to listening and serving myself more carefully)

But this time, I didn’t listen to my won guidance, and I finally, and successfully, ended up in an argument. 

Did it feel good? 

Of course not: I don’t like to push my frustration to other people's neck. It's not their fault if my mind wants to be bossy and in control when I have overwhelmed myself with the busyness and forgot the self-care.

No one is perfect: this small failure was not a failure as it woke me up to see the heat is on: 

  • Do you ever feel so indecisive that you don’t have any idea what you need?
  • Is it difficult to prioritize and instead of making decisions what you want, you just dwell in frustration? 

Maybe you over-think and analyze. Squirming with discomfort and having that small self-blaming and judging voice in the head is not helping at all.

Even though nothing’s really wrong there’s a big "Nah" in the back of the head. You just want to say “I don’t know,” because you don’t know but you have to make decisions.

Or you’re saying yes without thinking and get yourself even more tired and you feel bad as you're bad company.

This happens to me when the inner heat is on and I’ve slowly slipped from the happy track. Then I need to get back to sync with myself and often it requires self-care.

No need to emphasize we’re living in a dynamic world: the energy is heated up out there. Driver’s horn and people push each other in a hurry and no one wants to be pushed. Heat causes general anxiousness and sweating in the crowd make our head boil. 

When the weather is melting hot the pace must be slowed down.We need calmness and grounding to cool the down the over-heat in our bodies - mental blocks are causing physical blocks and the other way round. 

Still, we cannot blame the external conditions: work stress, heat, and people - blaming others has never solved any issues.

It is our responsibility to take care of the physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

It keeps us away from the confronting situations. And we don’t react so easily with the other people crankiness either. Because we don't know what the others (colleagues, friends, even family members) have on their plate - it's better to be kind.

How to cool down when you feel over-heated and unconnected:

Stop to listen to yourself. What does your body need now? How do you feel and what feels right for you? Follow your inner guidance and make it happen. You will gain a lot more energy by taking action and getting out there than just slouching on the couch.

  1. Sweat it out. Run, walk, jump, do yoga, hit the ball with the racket or ride a bike — move your body even for a short time! Just do it.

  2. Lose yourself to dance (I love that Daft Punk's song) Play your ultimate summer song you really (or secretly) dig and let your hips talk! The bigger and crazier moves, the better; no one can see you. This lifts your energy levels high-up in five minutes!
  3. Take a walk in the park and sit on the grass. Observe and listen what’s happening around you, the birds, wind, clouds and sun. Breathe in the green energy, enjoy the healing power of nature. This is a slow relaxing and mindfulness exercise.
  4. Calm yourself before bedtime. Rinse the feet with warm water. Lift your legs up towards the wall for 15 minutes. Squirm your butt close to the wall, keep the spine long and open arms to the sides. Breathe in and out. This is calming practice that swipe away the inner dust.

I bet it feels good, and it was fun — you gained back your energy and are back in sync with yourself.

By the way, even though you have a bad day, it doesn't matter you have a bad life.

Love, Jenni