motivation

Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

  • Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

  • Get out from your own way and emotions.

  • Make changes consciously.

  • Choose to behave differently.

  • Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation

What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

  1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

  2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

  3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

  4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

  5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

  6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

 


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Create More time and Minimize Distractions with these 4 steps

If you are like me, it's hard for you to keep your hands off your phone when you get a message or when a new notification pops up.

I used to struggle with how easily I could slip down the social media rabbit hole. It would happen many times a day when I was just "quickly checking on something." And suddenly time went by.

It made me feel lousy that I was wasting so much time, plus I felt I didn’t have any control over myself! I was constantly late and behind schedule and that meant my days got longer as I tried to fit everything in. I was always wondering, where does all the time go?

When I tracked what was causing the distractions and how much time I was wasting online every day, I decided it was vital to set clear boundaries for myself (my mind actually), so I could keep my focus and get things done efficiently - and feel good about myself in the process.

It requires true willpower to stay away from the phone when it’s the alarm clock; social and business network; entertainment system; library; assistant; and office. And that really is what our mobile device represents to us nowadays.

It's difficult to resist because we are talking about something that is extremely addictive.

Mobile phones, email, and social media wire our brains in ways it's not accustomed to being wired.

We have started to believe that we need to be contactable and available at all times. Our brain has got so distracted and disturbed that we don’t actually know how to be present without doing anything but enjoying ourselves and paying attention to the life we are living.

I believe we are talking about a bigger problem than we yet even realize.

Many believe they are the only one suffering with certain issues, and that everyone else lives happy stress-free lives. That’s a social media bubble and it’s not true.  

It's so easy to grab your phone first in the morning. Then, before even waking up properly; without setting up the day; or even saying good morning to yourself or to anyone else, your rat race has started and your day is already being driven by the demands of your phone.

It will ruin your day if you open up a message that immediately activates your stress hormones.

This could be an email that you need to react to right away; something bad you see in the news; maybe you find out there’s a huge catastrophe at work; or you discover your ex has met someone new.

Whatever it is, it can immediately cause angst. Negative thoughts and emotions then quickly run out of your control and your day starts in the wrong mood!

All the wonderful communication possibilities mobile devices offer can make you feel like you can’t lead your life, or never even have enough time to live your days, peacefully.

This can be changed. You can either give your power away or choose to respect yourself; your priorities; the connection with your loved ones; and your well-being, by setting clear boundaries.

Here’s how to do it:

  1. Switch off all unnecessary notifications and put your phone on silent when you need to focus. Leave your phone in another room if its presence haunts you on your desk.

  2. Create a morning routine and start your day by being present, focusing on your breathing for a while or with a short meditation.

  3. Create clarity around your schedule and set intentions for your days.

  4. Take breaks and recharge yourself, so your brain is not exhausted continuously. Do nothing for a couple of minutes in between all the “doing”.

The benefits are clear:

  • When there are no constant beeps and pop-ups, there won't be any temptation to react and respond to those notifications. You, therefore, won't be sucked into your inbox or into a social media hole for hours.  

  • You are more mindful of what happens and how you feel, and can then react and respond to events mindfully.

  • You will have more energy, clarity, and time.

  • Switching off your notifications is a fast and straightforward way to increase your productivity and your ability to stay calm and focused: you will feel happier as you are mastering your schedule and creating a better day for yourself - which is what we all want!

How valuable would that be for you?

Leave a comment letting me know how you manage distractions or what is causing problems for you. Ask questions! What rules have you set around your phone and internet usage and how well are those rules working for you?

To help you create successful, intentional days, you can download the printable daily page of my Clarity Planner.  

Love, Jenni

How to Re-Program Your Mind Using Affirmations

Talk yourself into success and start consciously creating your life

We have all heard of affirmations: positive statements you repeat to yourself over and over. Their aim is to override old subconscious programming and change negative thought patterns and beliefs; in doing this, you set yourself free to do and achieve what you want, be it improving your health, career, relationships, finances or preparing yourself for any specific situation that requires stretching out of your comfort zone.

While it may sound good in theory, many people struggle to make affirmations work.

This is due to lack of specificity and knowledge of how to create affirmations that work personally for them in their specific situations.

Why affirmations may not work:

  • You don’t fully believe in your goal or what you are saying to yourself.

  • You’re using negative or future-oriented language in your affirmations, which is confusing to the mind which only operates in the present.  

  • You are not aware of or paying attention to your mind’s objections.

  • There is a subconscious block that is powerfully resisting the changes you desire.

  • You don’t take the action that is needed to move forward.

To make affirmations work successfully, you need to first discover what thought patterns and objections you have. Thought patterns are based on past negative experiences that you hold in your mind. These are stored in your subconscious, which always affects your behavior, thoughts, feelings, and actions in different situations.

If you struggle in some area of life and feel that you can’t do what you want to do, then there are some learned limiting beliefs and subconscious blocks that keep you stuck in your situation. Luckily, we can release these self-limiting beliefs and blocks, and creating personal affirmations is one of the ways you can.

A Simple Exercise to Create Your Affirmations

Here's one simple exercise you can do to help reveal your limiting beliefs and create affirmations that work for you:

  • Write your desire or goal down: what is it that you want to achieve?

  • Get quiet and turn inward to listen.

  • Ask yourself: why is it not possible?

  • Write out all the objections your mind comes up with.

  • Keep going until there aren't any objections coming up.

  • When you have emptied your mind of objections, go through the statements and shift the sentences to positive.

  • Use clear, authoritative, positive commands in the present tense: I feel, I can, I have, I am…

For example, say you want to elevate your career to the next level and find your dream job, but struggle with the habit of procrastination. You have all kinds of excuses as to why you don’t do the things you need to do (e.g., update your resume, make connections, etc.). For some reason, you keep yourself from following through with your plans.

To quit the habit of procrastination to find your dream job, you want to discover the self-limiting beliefs and emotional reasons behind the procrastination, and writing down the objections will show you these. You may think for instance, “What I want does not exist,” “It’s too risky to change jobs now,” “I’m not educated enough,” etc. All these self-limiting beliefs are raising inner fears: fear of the unknown, fear of success, or fear of failure.

When the subconscious objections come to the surface, you will often realize they are not true, and that already helps to release them. To empower your mind and believe new thoughts, create positive statements, such as: “I’m open for new possibilities,’” “It’s my time now,” “I have everything I need for my dream job.”     

Used consistently, affirmations will help you reprogram your mind and change your habits, which will change your reality.

How to use your affirmations:

  • Repeat the affirmations consistently and daily, and write them down. It takes about 21 days to change any habit.

  • Use your imagination to visualize and meditate on what you’re affirming — feel like you would if you already had what you’re affirming.

  • Keep your affirmations where you can see them every day (phone, journal, Post-Its) so your mind has a better chance of accepting your new truth.

  • Motivate and encourage yourself by remembering your desire and its purpose, the reason behind the reason—why it’s so important for you!

Affirmations are an incredibly powerful way to increase self-belief, courage and help you expand your life. Knowing what you want is the first step to having it—and simply convincing your mind that you can have it will help you change your habits and make it your reality.

If you enjoyed this post, you will love my weekly emails. They are weekly digest of the best human performance habits for self-mastery, personal, spiritual and professional growth, and real life stories around the web. Sign up here!

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

Do this to keep your New Year's resolutions

Have you made big promises, visions and life goals for the New Year?

I’m happy if you did! It’s a great way to make positive changes. 

You probably committed yourself to exercise more, save money, learn a new skill, land a new job and get the next step of your career going, manage your time or stress better, be healthier, change bad habits, improve relationships or you just want to become a better person...

In general, these things make us happier.

Unfortunately, it’s rare for people to keep their resolutions. Approximately 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.  

It’s painful to realize that what you are trying to do is not working. 

It can feel like you are standing in the way of your own happiness and success. Even strong willpower doesn’t work and it’s definitely not fun anymore.

here are the common reasons why people fail to accomplish their goals and resolutions:

  • they set too high and unrealistic expectations and goals (we can’t have everything at once and change faster than we are ready for).

  • they are not explicit about their desires and goals (the detail is needed).

  • they don’t plan how to make it happen.

  • they lack real motivation and commitment.

These reasons are very logical. But the real reason why people fail to accomplish their goals and resolutions is not based on logic. 

It's because your mind is wired to your old habits of thinking, feeling and behaving.

Your feelings and (often) unconscious patterns always beat the logic and willpower of your conscious mind.

Your subconscious mind rules your world 95%.   

That's what keeps you in your familiar comfort zone, no matter that it’s painful and you really, really want to move forward!

It’s your self-limiting beliefs that keep you repeating the old patterns and habits that are not making you happy any more.

There might even be a firm belief that you are not able to change or that you deserve the better, happier life. Or even worse, that you are not worthy of it.

This is the reason why diets, saving or making more money, personal development plans and exercise programs, and resolutions in general, won’t work. That is until you change your subconscious programming, i.e. your beliefs and thoughts, and get a clear vision of how you want to change and also connect deeply to how it will feel when you have reached your goal.

Successful resolutions and goals require: 

  1. A clear, detailed goal you commit yourself to.

  2. Facing and then changing your self-limiting beliefs and stories.

  3. Bringing light to your inner objections and patterns.

  4. Time.

  5. Consistency; don’t give up when you face obstacles.

  6. Using visualization (your imagination) to empower and motivate yourself to see your goal in your mind and believe it.

  7. Create a plan and take small steps towards your goal on a daily or weekly basis.

  8. Focus on doing and being present today; let go of the obsession with the outcome and know it’s happening.

By following these steps you will set yourself up for success.

To help you change your subconscious blocks and self-limiting stories you can download my free workbook here.

Leave a comment below telling me your thoughts on what has or hasn’t been working for you with your own resolutions!

Much love, Jenni
 


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related blogs

>> 6 factors to manifest anything you want

>> How to re-program your mind


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Karlyn Borysenko: workplace bullying led to a book deal

In this episode of The Glad Show, I talk with Karlyn Borysenko, who is an organizational psychologist, owner, and principal of Zen Workplace.

We deep dive into her personal story and experiences about workplace bullying and how she got fired when it happened.

All that eventually led to finding her own company, signing 6-figure agreements and getting a book deal. We talk about fears, patience, humanity, and especially, how to get courageously started when you have an important message and mission that helps to change the world for better. 

She shares how she found her way out from the unhealthy environment, got in touch with her real passion and started helping organizations create healthier and happier work environments. 

There is so much more, so just dive in...

Watch the video here

Or listen to the audio here: 


Once you've had a chance to watch or listen, please join us in the comments on the blog.

I'm curious and interested in hearing what resonated most with you on Karlyn’s story?

Specifically… I'd like to ask you: What kind of personal story do you want to write in the future?

Thank you so much for reading and watching, I really hope you enjoy the interview! If you like it please share with your friends and social media. 

 

P.S. later I contacted Karlyn to ask her advice on workplace bullying, what to do when it happens? And this is what she replied:

Get out. Seriously. Go find another job. Don’t go to HR, because they probably won’t help you. The person bullying you has probably bullied other people before and HR likely knows about it and hasn’t done anything about it. You want to go find somewhere that will value you and allow you to thrive. And know that you’re not crazy, you’re not doing anything wrong, it’s not your fault. You haven’t done anything to deserve it. It’s not a reflection of your value or what you can contribute to the organization, so don’t let it get to you. When you’re out of it and are in a place that appreciates you, you’ll be able to look back on the situation and see it for what it is. www.zenworkplace.com

 

I'll have what she's having

Have you ever been in the situation that there is something you want and need so badly, but it's just not coming to you? 

When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to look others and say:

"If I could just get what she's having, then I would be or feel..." 

and maybe even believe that her life is easier than yours!

This, for sure, creates more worry, frustration, and anxiety, especially when comparison makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate, while the others seem to be living the time of their life and making things happen so easily. 

Comparison kills clarity (and confidence)

Other people's successes easily lead us to the wrong direction. It’s easy to close the eyes from what does it require to get there.

It is a survivorship bias, and it's leading deeper into the hopelessness, as we see the other's successes only on the surface and have no idea what they have gone through to get there. 

It's like a self-help book that gives you guidance of how to do things perfectly right but still it doesn't make you taking action and do and experience it in practice.

There is an endless amount of guidance, inspiration, and self-help books that are showing the right path that takes us to desired goals but in the end, it leaves us so very lonely, as there is a gap in between the idea and the goal: what is wanted and how to get there.

I went through all this felt when I started coaching and working for myself. The change was huge after working for corporates for a long time and then suddenly, I was being responsible only for myself, living in total uncertainty and having no idea how to get forward from there. It was lonely and all my patterns and blocks alarmed and change resistance wanted to stop me. 

My main problem? I had no CLARITY OF what I was doing. 

I threw myself in the worst situation without thinking and planning. I didn't do the work and be specific of:

1) what I was aiming to do
2) how I would get there
3) what if it wouldn’t work out (considering the risks) 

And I focused on the outcome, not the path. Plus I'm multi-passionate and that can cause a lot of distractions if you are not extra clear where you want to go. 

I’m not talking about plan B’s or negative expectations but more likely being a bit more realistic and following up if my plans and things started developing to the right direction. 

People said it should be easy to build a business and income for myself, as I had been in business for over 12 years. Well, it is not that simple - I did completely different work and it changes things a lot when you work for others and when you work for yourself.   

I carried on I was determined and I trusted my inner voice and calling - aNd I had made my commitments.

When I started the second part of this life (that's how I call it), I had promised myself to do anything to find out if it would be possible to be happy every day (it is, no matter the challenges!).

And I wanted to live meaningful life more than let my limiting fears lead it and I was ready to get over never ending thresholds that everyone must face - whatever they do.

Books and self-study programs rarely solve the deep unconscious patterns and personal barriers that keep people standing in their own way and when this goes on for while, it makes them believe they are not good enough, talented enough or smart enough to do what they want as the change also resists itself. 

Too many give up when there are obstacles and inner resistance that feels like you would be are standing in your own way. It's easy to stop believing when it feels lonely and difficult when there is no one to give the right answers. 

Too many are attracted by golden shiny objects without remembering that we can choose our struggles but we can't avoid our struggles - no matter what we do for work.

Choose and be clear of what you are having

You know everything you need to know - it’s there even if you don’t recognize it now. The better you know yourself, your desires and your genius, the easier it is.

By the way, success and failure are not that far from each other: "When failure becomes invisible, the difference between failure and success may also become invisible." (you are not so smart.com)

Now I want to hear from you: how has this been for you? How did you find your authentic success? What did you have to learn before it happened?

If you like this blog share with your friends! You can also join my newsletter here - when you SIGN UP you will get an ultimate confidence boosting transformational audio (which is so relaxing and helping you to get where you want to go). 

Love,
Jenni

6 steps to break a worry habit

A while ago I noticed an unhealthy pattern had sneaked in my life. It was a reminisce of my years in the corporate world, but I hadn't felt it for years, and the old familiar feelings rang my health and wellness alarms.

I don't play with health or happiness anymore, so I looked into my habits (of thinking and behaving) to understand what was causing it and to know how to make changes:

I had a productive phase going on and I was producing a lot of new content. Long to-do list made me minimize the meditation and writing time in the mornings. I worked late and then stayed up late spending "my time" in Instagram and reading work-related books and articles late in the bed.

It was hard to get up in the mornings as I was awake at some point during the nights. I felt tired in the middle of the day. To keep myself going, I had started drinking coffee on the afternoon. I felt tired and wired at the same time.   

I was overdriving myself so that at the end of the week my brain was foggy and my body was over-heated, meaning I felt the blood pressure and cortisol levels were high.

I told myself it's temporary (and at the same time I was afraid it was not) and then I stopped: I don't want to do it this way, no matter what it is - I have a choice.

When I saw all these things and it was clear: I was suffering adrenaline fatigue. I lacked downtime and boundaries. 

In yoga, there is a rule that after an inversion pose it's good to rest the same amount of the time that you have been upside down. 

The same rule works in life: during the busier times, it's important to recharge the batteries - physically and mentally - all the time.

Creativity and productivity - both - require space and time. It's tough to create new ideas and be focused when your mind is full. 

What I did to fix it: 

The moment when I realized what was going on, I wanted to take responsibility for it.

I did the clarity exercise below and reduced all the unnecessary worries - there were not that much left after it - I felt at ease. 

Also, I booked time for acupuncture, scheduled a sweaty yoga class, took a herbal path and did nothing but relaxing for a couple of days - I planned time to relax. I observed my mind carefully and skipped everything that was too overwhelming and making my brain buzzing. I changed the bedtime routines: no more mobile time or work-related reading. Instyle magazine makes me snooze in five minutes. 

In the long run, adrenaline fatigue can create diseases as the body responses to mind’s constant overwhelm negative chatter and requirements.
 

Get to know your stress-factors and know your habits:

  • What habits of yours do you like, why?
  • What habits do you want to change? 

We need to keep track of our habits and know how they affect us - it can be very unconscious. If we don’t know what is creating the stress, we can’t react and respond it.


6 steps to releasing the stressful chaos and worries:

Take a pen and paper or open your notebook, and start answering the following questions:

  1. How do I feel now - in the body and mind?  

  2. What issues are stressing you and causing this feeling? Write them all down no matter it's 99 issues and worries. 

  3. What are the worries that you can't do anything about? The future is not in your hands, the now is.

  4. What can you do to your list? Prioritize them. 

  5. Plan how and when you get those things done (please don’t overplan and exhaust yourself as you can do only three foremost things per day).

  6. Ask yourself why have you chosen to do it? Remind yourself about your what you accomplish when you get there and finish the sentence:
     
    “I am doing this because…” and decide to be excited about it. You need to decide it if you don't feel it.

There you go - now you have a clear plan and you know it's doable and you can affect.

This gives you the motivation, as we all have to eat our shit sandwich as Elizabeth Gilbert calls it: no matter we follow our passions, we still need to do the work, and often it's challenging. 

When you choose to struggle for the things that matter to you and are important, it's not that bad at all as you know it is meaningful to you.   

The worrying thoughts won’t take away tomorrow’s problems, but they will take away today’s joy. 

If you liked this post, please share it, tweet it, pin it, like it!

With love,
Jenni

Hypnosis helped me to get rid of my sugar addiction

I asked Jenni to help me do a real and long-lasting life change toward a healthier, balanced lifestyle - and especially to get rid of my sugar addiction and food binging.

Sugar addiction made me tired and unmotivated, and my brain was foggy. My blood sugar went up and down, and so did my mood! I was often angry or irritated without knowing the reason, and it made me feel horrible. Strict diets and health programs were working only for a short while, but soon after, I was back to my old habits. I didn't have the willpower to change my habits permanently, and it was a painful struggle! I was disappointed in myself, and there was a lot of self-blame.

After the first session with Jenni, I felt how my brain started dealing with new information, i.e., organizing itself for a new way of thinking and changing behavior. I wanted to listen to my personalized audio every night, and I started feeling more balanced day by day!

In just three weeks time, significant (unbelievable!) changes started to happen; my attitude changed and I felt more compassion and acceptance. My approach toward food changed too in the fact that now, I want to eat clean and healthy food.

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I started enjoying meals with all my senses, and I am excited about cooking healthy meals for the family! I do not need to gorge myself anymore. I feel my metabolism has started to run properly; I can visualize the fat cells shrinking, and my weight is steadily decreasing every week.

Chocolate and candy have crossed my mind, but I do not have a compelling need to eat them; they do not interest me anymore. Once I had some candy at the movies, and I was not able to eat it as it tasted way too sweet!

A huge healing process started from inside out. In such a short time I was able to release the old issues that were inducing my self-sabotaging behavior; I understood and very gently accepted why I had to be that way. The past is not affecting me anymore.

I had my second video call after three weeks. Then, we worked with my mindset and boosted my confidence - it was really empowering! The third session was to complete our work together and make a plan how I will keep myself on the right track.

I enjoy myself and my life so much more now, and I see my changes also positively affect the people around me, my family, and the atmosphere in my home. My skin is glowing, and I am full of joy and energy.

Jenni is a gracious and trustworthy therapist and coach who warmly but firmly leads and helps her clients to gently see and let go of issues that can be painful and difficult to face. Transforming my habits was essential for me and affected all areas in my life. I can't thank you enough.

Karoliina, Helsinki

Happiness equals success - video blog

Believe me, there was a time (actually a few decades) when I didn't really like Mondays (or sundays). 

I ruined the half of my weekend thinking about Monday and I felt stressed out about the coming work week.

I often worked on Sunday evenings to make the next week easier. There were always so much to do and I felt like I never got anything finished as there were always something new coming up. Yes, there is a reason why it is called rat race. I kept doing what I thought I should do instead of thinking what I wanted and desired. I chased some kind of gold shiny objects and believed, it would eventually make me happy.

Now when I've been out of the corporate world for five years it's clear why I felt so miserable and anxious then.

I missed the crucial feelings of fulfillment. Stress and busyness had numbed me. My work didn't feel meaningful and work is a crucial part of our lives, as we all know. We need to do what we like.

We need to do what we like.

For a very long time, I believed success create happiness. 

It's a common belief that makes many people miserable. We have learned that we should be rewarded for the hard work and often people sacrifice their own happiness/health/wellness for doing the things they don't even like, but believing happiness is the reward of the hard work and sacrifices.

The big secret is: happiness is a key to success. 

By changing this belief I got clarity and was able to make the exit plan from the business world and started creating the life I truly wanted.

Watch the video and learn what you can do to improve your happiness today:

 

We create change by cultivating the art of presence, making conscious choices, shifting our mindset and making steady, constant improvements towards our goals - that is how you can create a happy life.

I have created a Mindful Living method based on my life-changing tools: seven practical tools for mindful living. Click to get access to this FREE 7-series video course

How has it been for you - let me know in the comments below. What does success mean to you? Have you found the balance between success and happiness? How did you make the change?

There is no right answer to these things and I am eager to hear your experience in the comments below :)

Much love, Jenni

Are you sabotaging yourself?

Are you sabotaging yourself?

A few years ago I stepped out from my uncomfortable and unsatisfying comfort zone and business career. I was so excited and pretty much stunned: I was going to do my dream job and work for myself - life felt super good. But when I got out to total uncertainty, I freaked out.

Facing fears above the clouds

I’m standing on a tiny, two-inch wide cliff on my toes. I hold the Via Ferrata cable with my left hand and trying to find a good grip on the rock wall with the other one. I am totally focused on moving myself forward step by step on the vertical wall and to get on the wider ledge above me. We are climbing via Ferrata and the summit of Tofana di Mezzo. I don’t look down the drop of 650 feet, but I admire the magnificent view from 10,000 feet— the surrounding mountains, the green valleys, the blue sky and the fluffy white clouds that are literally around me.

I see the iron stick that seems to be hanging in the air, which I have to reach with my right foot. I turn my gaze back to the gray mosaic stone. Suddenly the skulking fear gets me, and I loosed my nerve and froze — shit, I lost it.

My mind is quickly getting overwhelmed: I try to find a good grip and my fingers wander nervously. I see the image of myself hanging there by myself on the wall, on a high mountain and having a huge drop below — just like in all those climbing pictures — what am I doing here, I'm doing that stuff!

What if I fall, can I trust the cables, can I trust the via ferrata self-belay kit is working, the umbilical cord as I call it as my life depends on it. I hate this! The fall factor is much higher in via ferratas than in a rock climbing fall. I would get hurt as I would drop at least 30 foot and hit whatever. I can’t fall — all this information occupies my mind.

My legs are shaking visibly, like in the old cartoon movies.

“Breathe Jenni, breathe,” I calm myself down. “You have felt this feeling of panic before, many times in different situations. Pull yourself together. Trust yourself; you got this.”

I called my inner tiger to help me out — this was not a good time for the lazy panda.

Slowly, inch by inch I force myself to move forward, taking steady steps, good grips and I’m climbing on the ledge. I breathe heavily and realize the worst is over.

There were more ladders, narrow paths on the mountain tops, some covered with snow, more cables and fun rock climbing — and after I had faced the fear thoroughly, I managed to enjoy it all. It was a blissful day, no matter we had to climb down and eat snow when we run out of the water, as the ski lift we planned to take down was under maintenance.

When climbing via ferratas, the iron routes at the Dolomites and in some places in the Alps, you get to hike and climb and see places that are usually only for rock climbers or not even for them. I’ve been rock climbing for a couple of years now, mostly inside but I’ve been at the Dolomites before so I kind of knew what to expect. I am lucky my husband is an experienced mountaineer, and I’ve learned a lot from him. Climbing the most challenging ferratas without experience and good planning can be life-threading.

The conditions can get serious up there, and climbing is very different outside. On our first climbing days, I got stiff of the fear and was not able to find the joy and the excitement of the climbing.

“Have I just become that fearful and lost that adventurer in me?” I pondered.

I recognized that itchy feeling of excitement and butterflies in my stomach was familiar for me, which was calling me to go for it. That feeling includes two options: either I go for it, face and get over my fears and challenge myself. It can mean I’d be failing, but I’d learn and experience and create change. Or, I could leave it and approve it was not for me this time. And regret it later.

I had to clarify this all for myself and get insight, so I sat down and had a mini-coaching session with myself:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • What’s behind the fear?
  • Where is that fear coming from?

I remembered (ha!) it had been my dream I had set a few years ago; I had wanted to start climbing and mountaineering.

I’m a nature addict to the bone; that’s my Finnish heritage, and I’ve been skiing since I was four and I love the snow, the forests, and the mountains. I need the nature’s healing and balancing “green power” almost every day; it can be only a walk in the park and sitting on the grass. I enjoy the extreme adrenaline rush and the blissful feeling afterward. And exploring — all of it.

About the fears. I was getting out of my comfort zone big time that I hadn’t done for a while. Climbing these high mountains was new to me. I got stiff of the fear when I read the descriptions of the routes and the grades. I was afraid I would be drained physically, no matter I am in a good physical shape. I was afraid I was not good enough, and brave enough, in front of my hubby’s eyes. I didn’t trust and give myself credits. I noticed I had kind of lost my wilderness and guts.

Fears are supposed to keep us safe, but they are number one reason why we don’t stretch out from the safety zone and follow our desires, big or small.

It’s easy to stay there, satisfy less (and complain) and let the resistance rule. But we all have much more power, the knowledge, the capabilities and skills than we know - we need to challenge ourselves occasionally! New things won’t feel easy at first, not always even enjoyable but when you get over that first phase - bliss is waiting.

I decided to go for it. I relaxed my mind and the body. I called my inner tiger to walk by my side. That powerful, calm animal, who takes it easy when it can and roars when needed.

Quick self-reflection guide (how to handle crisis creatively, get understanding of what you need now and move forward)

When you feel it’s difficult to find answers or make decisions, take responsibility, pick pen and paper and ask yourself:

  • How do you feel (be honest)?
  • What do you need?
  • What do you desire (how do you want it to be)?
  • Who are you (in your heart)?
  • What needs to change?
  • How and where you need to adapt to get there (it’s about you, not others)?
  • Think and ask the questions - get quiet and listen

Pro tip: If you don't find any answers, let it rest for a while - don't try to force, it makes it worse - trust the answer will come and forget it. Be willing to be surprised and open to the new and change things up.

Always with love, Jenni

p.s. if you got interested about via ferratas and climbing in Italy, see this cool video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziRuQIuqN_M

Photo by Joonas Makkonen