Success

Change your emotional habits and get over stressful times like a honey badger

This week has been one of those weeks.

Our internet cable literally broke down, the dryer must be fixed, and we have a roof construction going on in the house. The cleaning lady rescheduled. My little one started with a part-time nanny and I'm dealing with separation anxiety, probably more than the baby.

All the scheduling and rescheduling take time and so much energy!

People are coming in and out of the house all the time.

Men are climbing ladders outside my windows, looking in when I'm breastfeeding the baby in the living room or working in my office.

There is no privacy for the person who needs a lot of if and alone time to digest the world around me.

All this could drive me nuts. But, I'm not allowing it to happen.

I have seen this so, so many times and it’s time to take a different, healthier and happier route.

If I would let my emotions take the lead and start stressing, I give my power away and it all goes worse and it will take longer to get over it.

Eventually, I would burst the pressure to someone else, like we often do if we are not able to connect and feel our feelings, and that’s not right either.

Instead of losing my nerve and wasting my energy I observe and choose to respond and react to stressful emotions and chaos calmly with high self-awareness.

Our emotional reactions are learned habits.

We learn all the habits by repetition and by watching others. The way to change our habits is to turn inward and start making a difference. It’s very delicate but the impact in our life is huge: it’s the way to change your life and create new, better paths.

So I breathe, and consciously release the emotions of overwhelm and focus on getting through the week positively, taking care of things one by one and staying present in the moment.

I remind myself to stay centered and grounded like a honey badger. Honey badgers don’t care but focus on essentials, on what they want.

(If you haven't seen the narrated viral video about the crazy nastyass honey badgers, it's super funny. It tells something about my sense of humor. )

Also, laughing reduces the cortisol hormones in the body and calms down the sympathetic nervous system. Watch something funny or shake your ass when life gets too serious or you find it hard to calm down to meditate on it. Like kids in general, our inner child loves when we let loose and get playful.

It would be impossible for me to go through this week without other people’s help.

I appreciate the abundant amount of help. I appreciate help is available. All these people help our family enormously with their knowledge.

For a long time, it was really hard for me to ask for help from others.

I've always had this mentality of a super strong, over-functioning, independent Finnish woman who doesn't need anyone's help.

My old self was a kind of woman who can build her own house by herself if needed.

This is what one construction guy said to me years ago when he renovated my apartment in Helsinki after I showed him how the kitchen needed to be built. I wondered why I paid him as I could have done it myself.

I still remember how I felt inside that time.

After ending a 7-year relationship I felt completely lost, and my brain was scattered due to insomnia and the anxiety I suffered. I had no idea what I should do next in my life, so I tried to over-control everything I could and operated completely from my masculine side. I didn’t allowing myself to stop as I was so afraid of what I would need to face.

I was almost collapsing then but I pushed through. I managed to keep it together until I collapsed a year later.

It was then when I realized that I can't, and don't need to, try to survive on my own and do everything by myself.

I realized there are people who were actually able and willing to help me.

Little by little I started asking for more help in different areas of life.

Today it’s much easier for me as I’ve learned to ask for help and I know when I need to invest in myself and when my own resources are not enough. The most important thing is that I’ve learned to receive help.

As I’ve changed my behavior, I have noticed there’s abundance amount of helpful and kind people around me. All we need to do is to be open, reach out and ask for help.

Help is always showing up in a form or another. Sometimes it shows up as a person, in the form of group or company, a program, a book or online resource, or just a message that is pointing to the new direction.

Sometimes it asks courage to get over my fears to receive it and give myself an opportunity for growth and expansion. May it be personal health and wellbeing, family issue or my work and business.

Our level of self-worth measures the ability of receiving.

I believe we can learn to do pretty much anything successfully if we just put our energy and efforts in. I could still do all kind of things by myself but nowadays, if it’s not my cup of tea, I don’t want to.

I don’t need to know everything or do everything by myself, anymore.

It’s much easier to have set boundaries and focus on what we are best at and absolutely love to do. Let other people do use their expertise.

The most difficult part to getting over stressful emotions and moments is to learn to step out of your own resistant ego-mind and give yourself a permission to feel happy and good about yourself.

That can only happen when you are present and mindful about your thoughts, your feelings and the chatter of your ego-mind.

You have the power to change your reality and rise your energy by changing your emotional habits:

  • Watch and observe your emotional reactions and responses.

  • Get out from your own way and emotions.

  • Make changes consciously.

  • Choose to behave differently.

  • Repeat and learn.

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right immediately but be determined. Life will give you as many rounds of practice as needed, until you have changed the old pattern.

Help is available when life feels complicated and it's hard to see clearly what to do and where to go next.

Or your internet cable needs fixing.

What is the area of life that you could use some help with?

Much love,

Jenni

Reflect on your year before setting New Year resolutions

The Holidays will soon be over here... I know you must be busy finishing up everything so you can relax for a couple of days before welcoming the New Year and setting your resolutions and visions.

I hope your year has been as successful and full of joy as you intended it to be. And I hope you are feeling proud of yourself (this was one of my “feeling” intentions for 2018) and those conscious accomplishments you made real this year.

Even if you feel that this year really sucked and you would just rather move forward without thinking about any of the mistakes or failures (that we all have had), hiding your head in the sand doesn’t help.

In fact, it does the opposite and only makes you carry those issues forward and replay them over and over again.

Nothing new can be built on regrets or resentment. You need to take the lessons and clean your mental and emotional closets to create space for the new.

So before you rush yourself to the new year… take some the time yet to stop and reflect on 2018.

Closing the book of life yearly is mentally, spiritually and emotionally as important as finalizing your bookkeeping and doing your taxes. Yes, we need to face the ugly truth and that’s helping you to let go of it. 

Making these end of year reflections is needed for reasons:

  • You will clearly see how you have actually done and what you have accomplished (self-empowerment & praise!).

  • You become free from self-blame and resentment (forgiveness).

  • You know what is working or not working for you (wisdom).

  • You can learn from your obstacles (growth).

After you have done this exercise, you can let yourself off the hook - the table is clean and you have clarity and your head is full of wonderful insights. You’ll feel free to plan your life forward.

Here’s how to reflect on your past year:

  1. Make a nice cup of something and get a piece of paper or your journal.

  2. If you have one, get out your list of desires and goals or your calendar of the year.

  3. Start from January and go through your life month by month and list all the accomplishments and good things that happened during your year.

    • Think of the reasons why it worked out so wonderfully for you.

    • Don’t hold yourself back from paying attention to “small” things - they are just as important.  

  4. Next make a list of things that didn’t work out: goals you didn’t achieve, mistakes or failures that happened.

    • Ask yourself what could you have done differently?

    • Write down the reasons why you think it didn’t work out. This is not to blame yourself, others or the circumstances. Reflect objectively.

    • What can you learn from it?

  5. Go through your reflections to see what’s working for you, what makes you happy and what you want to continue doing next year - but also what do you need to let go of and clear from your plate.

It’s really empowering to clean the clutter and boldly remove some of the old things hanging on our to do lists that will never ever happen.

By doing this kind of exercise yearly you will stop repeating the same cycles and can change things confidently.

But also, we are often so hard on ourselves and too busy to praise ourselves enough... so celebrate your accomplishments!  

Then it’s time to set those powerful intentions, goals and desires for the next year.

If it’s not part of your yearly routine yet I highly recommend making a list of intentions and desires for 2019. It’s a simple list of everything you want to have, be and create during the next year and this - the power of intention - is proven to work really well.

This is my personal way to start the New Year and it’s amazing to go back to those old desires at the end of year and witness how amazingly things have flowed forward, how much I have done and achieved - and simply seeing clearly what do I need to let go.

If you have a question or another practice or exercise you like to use, please share in the comments below.

Much love and Happy Holidays,

Jenni


6 factors to manifest anything you want

To create a life of your desires you need to know what you really want.

The biggest obstacle to many people and why they feel stuck in their life and unable to change the old repetitive cycles, is because they miss the big picture. They don’t really know what kind of changes they want and what kind of future they are aiming to create.

Often they limit themselves because they don’t believe they are deserving and worthy of having what they want. They stay in victim mentality and believe the past will repeat itself automatically. These limiting beliefs and mindsets are blocking the way.

I know the feeling. For a long time I thought that we don’t have the power to change things and that events happen because they just happen; so I kept suffering. I gave the decision-making to other people and thought it was the universe’s call to decide for me.

I was afraid things would get worse, and so they did year by year.

Until I was ready to take responsibility and asked: what if it was me who created it all?

It was a profound thought and empowered me to start my personal happiness project, which led to me changing my life completely by learning how to be a conscious creator.

Setting clear visions and intentions for the future is crucial for anyone who wants to lead their life consciously and increase their happiness, success and wellbeing - on their own terms.

My approach to manifesting and creating life consciously is unique, as I don’t only use these principles for the big long-term visions and goals, but I also teach how to use them on a daily basis.

We are the creators and can shift our lives by making these 6 elements part of daily life.

Real happiness can only be experienced in the moments, and those moments set the foundation for your future. The better you feel about yourself, the faster you attract good things in your life.

6 Factors to Manifest Anything You Want

1. Stop acknowledging where you are at and what is going on in your life right now.

It was just recently when one of my lovely clients said: “I didn’t even realize how I actually don’t know myself anymore.” Busy life disconnects and if we have to stop often to see where we are at and check in if we are moving to right direction.

2. Get clear on what you don’t want.

I know it sounds counter-intuitive and someone could think it’s against the growth mindset and setting positive expectations and intentions that I always talk about. But this doesn’t mean staying in the negative or focusing on it. It’s actually a way to declutter the mind and throw out the bad stuff. Getting clear on what you don’t want helps you clarify what you actually want!

3. List what you do want.

Reversing the first list helps you get started and then it’s easier to allow more ideas to come! It’s easier to start if you focus on one area of life, i.e. relationships, career, money, health, or yourself. Go into detail. Have more than enough intentions, ideas, feelings and go above what your common sense believes you can have. Simply allow yourself to pour out everything you want. Focus only on fulfilling your desires by opening your mind to impossible desires and visions.

4. Clear your unconscious limiting beliefs, and emotional blocks.  

Remove the underlying, often unconscious thought patterns and habits that are blocking your way. These are simply what you have learned in your past based on your earlier experiences. Make peace with them. To change your reality consciously, and get what you want, you need to believe and feel that what you want is possible and available to you; this is needed to manifest your desires successfully. Work and release your beliefs, elevate your thinking and up level your old mindset so that you can align your mind and your feelings with your future visions. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings, and keep shifting them all the time.

5. Use your imagination, feelings and visualize.

Visualizing simply means that you imagine and feel your future desires and you connect with them deeply, as though you have already achieved them. See the end result in your mind’s eye; feel it with your feelings; and experience in your body and your mind that it has already happened. No need to focus on the hows, own your visions, and you will find a way. Magnetize your visions by doing a vision board - make them really clear to yourself. Visualize your desires daily! It brings a lot of energy, inspiration and joy, and helps you believe in your visions.

6. Focus on the now and take inspired action.

Let go of the idea and the outcome, detach from it: don’t become obsessed and needy about your desires. Surrender to it and open yourself to receiving. But, don’t just sit and wait for things to happen, you need to move things forward. This is something most people don’t realize. You need to take inspired, conscious action towards your desires and goals by thinking and then doing what you can do now and act when the new ideas show up. Then you have done what’s needed so act like you already have it and trust it’s all happening. Make your days as good and enjoyable as you can - even though things are not yet as you wish them to be, focus on seeing and embracing the good side of it.

These principles are the keys for manifesting, that work for anyone who wants to start leading their life and create their reality consciously - from day to day life to long-term visions.

One of the most powerful ways to start changing things in your life is to discover and connect with your real future visions and real desires.

You can start by downloading my free Discover Your Future Visions Visualization Meditation

What to do when you hit your inner blockages

One of my favorite books about self-growth, that I always go back to, is Gay Hendricks' ‘The Big Leap’.

In this book he writes about our inner upper limits, those inner glass ceilings, that hold us back from reaching our Zone of Genius.

When we are operating in our Zone of Genius, we are shining and passionately doing what we absolutely love, and we are using our unique gifts and natural talents.

We all have special attributes that no one else has, but most people have no idea what they might be — and they believe they don’t have what they need within to fulfil their desires and passions. 

The foundation of happiness, success, and the basis of all the good in our lives is to do what you really want and need to do.

When you operate in YOUR zone of genius, you use your real potential

Usually you get into a flow mode when you are operating in your genius. Time doesn’t matter, you absolutely feel free and operate in a high, intensive energy mode.

The other three areas are called the Zone of Incompetence (things that are not your cup of tea but you still do them, even though you hate it), the Zone of Competence (things you can do and be good at but it’s not that exciting - if feels like something’s missing) and the Zone of Excellence (you are successful and have done the work to create it all but in the long run, you feel bored and like you are living on autopilot).

Wherever you are now, when you want to elevate to another level and make some changes — maybe a new career step; starting a new relationship; speaking on stage; writing a book; or making any of your long-term desires come true, or really anything that requires you to get over yourself — you have to be aware of inner resistance, which Gay calls an Upper Limit Problem.

Upper limits are your inner glass ceilings

Upper limit problems occur when we are making changes and expanding towards the new. They are the self-limiting stories, subconscious beliefs, and repeating patterns that — when triggered — quickly sabotage us from elevating our lives to the next level.

In his book, Gay calls these ULPs’ an inner thermometer. When the heat rises the thermometer blows.

I see them as and call them inner glass ceilings. These are invisible, unconscious mental and emotional limitations that can block your way to happiness and success — if you are not aware of them.

You can see through the glass to where you want to go, and to what you want, and you know you have what it takes.

But when the big moment of taking a step towards the goal arrives, somehow you just fail or something weird happens that prevents you from proceeding.

You suddenly get sick, there are problems with other people or another circumstance arises that stops you from moving forward. It can feel like higher powers are conspiring against you.

And that can make you think "It was not for me", "I can't do this", "It's too difficult" or "This always happens to me." and you want to give up all too soon. You see it as a sign that it’s not working.

But then is not the time to give up. Instead it’s time to understand and to learn why you got scared!

It’s time to turn inwards, to look back and connect with yourself internally and to see what is really going on with you: create clarity so that you can change it.

This is how subconscious patterns protect and keep you safe from failure or greater success. The reason why this happens is all based on your previous experiences and old, learned patterning.

The mind thinks there is “danger” in what you are aiming to do and subconsciously you believe it could cause similar pain, and bring up the old hurts you experienced in your past. It doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly the similar experience, it’s enough that it is triggering the same emotions.

Your mind’s job is to keep you safe and it does it in every way it can, even with self-sabotage and making you sick - if you are not aware of it.

Our mind doesn't like change, and earlier harmful experiences have created a safety zone that we would rather stay in, than take a risk and try to do it again.

Relationships are a great example. So many people want to find real love and have a balanced relationship but they can’t throw themselves into them - something always happens, things tend to end in the same way. Commitments are always risky but the rewards are great, right? And a good relationship with others and with ourselves requires constant care, growth, awareness, and communication.

How to release upper limits

  1. Look closer and deeper at the situation and within: there’s something you haven’t recognized. 

  2. Recover and take time to heal it, we all do our best: self-compassion and acceptance is needed.

  3. Work to release your inner fears and limiting beliefs: they will keep coming back until you change them.

  4. Don’t take no for an answer: find another way. 

  5. Time is irrelevant, don’t mind about delays; you can always try again. 

  6. Believe there’s a better time and a better way to get there: focus on the now and create possibilities from the inside out.  

With love and gratitude,
Jenni

P.S. Often the problems occur when we simply don’t have clarity on what the next steps are or if we are miss the big picture of what we want from life. To help you create clarity around your real desires, you can download my Connect with your future self meditation

 


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