In the last couple of weeks, many people have asked me what made me do the changes: jump out from the office world after 12 years career, renew my life and follow my calling as a change maker. I realized many people know what I do, life coaching and teaching mindful, creative living - the yoga of life, but I haven’t really told the story. I've hesitated, as I had to go through a lot. I split my life into two parts - the second part, when I really started to live my life fully, began four years ago at the age of 35 - after I took the full responsibility for myself and my choices.
Before, I had craved something new for several years, as I felt that I was not doing the work I was meant to be doing, didn’t make a difference to the world and made money for the money. I felt I was in a trap and forced to live the life I had created as I believed it was too late to make changes.
I floated, searched for the meaning of life and believed we live by the pre-written script fulfilling our destiny. I tried to follow the cultural norms and make it right, no matter I internally fought against the traditional standards.
I let my fears hold me back for many years and got frustrated - wishing life would make its moves and on one beautiful day, I would jump out and change everything.
Things certainly started to happen, but not in a way I had expected. In three years time, I had to go through a series of serious wake-up calls. After ending up the seven-year relationship, I thought it was living the time of my life, but instead, I got into a hurdle.
In one year I got three bone-braking, hand-related accidents, had on-going health problems, I developed workaholism and addictions, insomnia, unhealthy emotionally abusive relationships, which all slowly led to burnout. I almost choked on the piece of meat and faced near death experience that shook my world.
I took the big lessons after each obstacle, stood up bravely, put a smile on my face and kept going - I thought I had no choice! I started making improvements, healing myself and got help, but I didn't really stop, as I didn't know how. I searched for the answers from within — and begged for peace and balance, the answers and the sign, anything. I just wanted to be sure, what was the right direction for me.
In the final episode, I lost my friend and ex-partner for rapid cancer and at the same time, my big fluffy dreams were crashed again with someone else.
Then I was done. I guess I was so stubborn that one wouldn't have been enough. It was my school of life, in a short time I experienced some people face in one lifetime.
After the final call, I had nowhere to run: I was scattered and empty. All I had left was myself. I realized that was the answer - all is one.
I made a commitment to live for myself: I would do everything I could to heal, learn and grow. I would keep going until I'd find out if it would be possible to be happy every day. I was very determined on my transformation that helped me to find my passion and purpose that became my work.
I followed my intuition and studied passionately yoga, meditation, psychology, spiritual sciences, ancient wisdom and how the world works. I decluttered, practiced forgiveness and faced myself and the past. Meditation became my medication. Practicing the power of now, being present, helped me to get to know who I truly am and how to learn to love and approve of myself.
I opened up myself to my authentic desires, started creating my journey and making dreams true. I tried things out and learned through my experiences. I stopped comparing myself to others and kept searching my truth. I made a plan and started building my life on a new foundation.
I learned anything is possible and it doesn't have to be that hard; we are in charge of our destiny and desires lead the way. I learned to appreciate the life and to be grateful for everything I had. I was able to crack the happiness code; we choose our experiences - when we practice being consciously present, we recognize what we want and need, and can then make better decisions.
It was not an easy path, but I did the work as I knew I was on something that would change my life. And it did - inside out.
That work never ends - life flows naturally along the spirals, it's not a straight line. Sometimes we need to face something old to create space for the new. It’s our choice to make that shift happen and create the movement.
Making changes requires effort, encouragement, and enthusiasm. You don’t need to know all the answers before you make your moves and step to unknown, just be willing to do the work and share your light.
Happy solstice and June full moon vibes - today is a good day to set new intentions!
With love, Jenni