When the dreams are not coming true - How to deal with failure

“If you awaken from this illusion….you can feel yourself not as a stranger in this world, not as something here on probation…” - Alan Watts.

~get inspired~ Recently I was reminded of something important that I want to share with you. I felt little lost and I was jumping from site to site on the Internet, looking for inspiration and guidance from the coaches, teachers, and spiritual sites I follow. I found the Dream of life talk by Alan Watts - the one that inspired and touched me greatly a few years ago and it still does and .

~fail bravely~ I was, once again, in the situation that I felt disappointed and thought that I have failed. I had just learned that I hadn’t won the publishing contract in Hay House writing contest. I had worked so hard for my book proposal and had created a belief they would be a perfect publisher for me.

Along the writing process my hunger grew and I wanted to win quite badly. I discarded the quiet whispers of truth I heard on the back of the head.

Disappointment made my ego baby cry out aloud for five minutes. “Why can’t I have anything easily. Why I have to make everything so complicated and work so darn hard!”

Soon I recognized it didn't cry after the win - there were something deeper mourning in my stomach: I had drained myself along the way and pushed too hard. I had tried to take the control when I should have concentrated on the work itself - not the outcome.

I had become needy and started to believe I would need the win in order to get forward with my other work things.

~respect the failure~ I realized I had won the big prize: I got my book proposal done, and that was huge! It wouldn’t have happened without the contest. It's also my license to act in the literary world and continue my work - either way. And I learned so much about myself as a writer during the process.

Be willing to recognize the illusions you have built-  with compassion and humbleness, be grateful what you find and bow to your lessons.

Accept everything that is, cherish everything you have, allow yourself dream big, visualize it and then - forget the outcome and enjoy the ride.

Stop talking and take action: there's always next steps available.

~Reaching dreams don't require hard work~ A friend of mine asked about this and I said yes - I was then in the middle of the book project. Now, I'm wiser and I say no, because:

The easier you go, the easier the journey gets but you need to show up. Do what you like and that always leads somewhere great.

We can dream about life, and set the deadline for our visions and goals for the future. We can shout it out loud, want and demand. We can make ourselves believe in it and feel significant - and then trip over our own feet when the ego talk gets too loud. Forcing never works.

~rise~ It is easy to stop trying when we are failing. Making dreams true require heartfulness, persistence, and aligning our thoughts. Who knows, we can still be "wrong" but life moves on, takes you somewhere. Embrace your failures, there's so much power in them.

Often we dream about the life we don't see we're already living today - a life that we have some day imagined to live.

When I felt sorry for myself, my husband said to me: you're already a writer, the publishing was just delayed. I rose up and sat down to think what doors I could knock next. I noticed I knew quite a few people who can help me forward to find and agent and a publisher.

Magical things and right people don't usually show up from the places you expect them to come.I started talking about my projects, and it leads me forward. Today I had a call with one interesting self-publishing agency. Yesterday I sat next to the unknown lady and started a conversation with her. It turned out she works for a publisher. That is the magic I talk about.

I started talking about my projects. Soon I had a call with one interesting self-publishing agency. Then I sat next to the unknown lady and started a conversation with her. It turned out she works for a publisher. That is the magic I talk about.

~we are never there~ We can achieve and accomplish what we want but there’s always paths, and the continuous flow of life will always provide new possibilities but also repeat the same patterns until we are ready to learn. Our hunger is never satisfied, and it is the beauty and the struggle of life.

Like Alan Watts says in his famous talk:

Let’s have a dream, which is not under control and let's fill the life with an infinite multiplicity of choices we truly have and play with joy.

HERE'S THE TIP WHEN YOU ARE FEELING STUCK: If you can’t visualize your desires, concentrate on the present and have one-on-one with yourself. Take your notebook and write it all down to the paper: - What you need to learn and understand now? - What is holding you back and blocking your way? Be honest with yourself and don’t force the decision or outcome - let go. Trust your intuition. What is coming up?

Watch the talk in here: Alan Watts Of the Dream of Life